Wednesday, August 31, 2011

First Few Items!

 Yay!! So what I have here are some pretty hair ribbons that are attached to bobby pins. Also, I found this most beautiful red dragonfly material. :) And I'm going to be making little makeup bags/ pencil cases out of them. What do you think?

Ballet Conditioning

So, I figured out that it is way to hard to describe ballet exercises I do, so I am just going to post some helpful links that will hopefully help you get an idea of what I do, so you can try it out at home. ***                                                              ***              ***                                                                         *** ***                      These are just some examples of the basics of ballet and the last link is really helpful because it has a lot of instructional videos. If you want to practice the barre work at home just use a chair to hold onto. Good luck!  

Ugh Binges Suck!

So yesterday I ate 3 turkey slices, a spoon of icecream, 1/2 a whole wheat pita, a chicken breast and 4 pieces of pizza. Ugh I never should have gone to my boyfriends restaurant with him. He always orders so much food and makes me feel guilty about not eating. The good thing is I forgot to weigh in on Monday, so I don't know how low my weight got down to then so when I weighed in today it doesn't look like I gained any weight from my disgusting binge. Ok so I weighed in at 135.4 this morning. I'm so freaking close to my 1st goal weight it's driving me crazy. If I hadn't binged, I know I would be there. The good news is the school bag that I want is out of stock until September 3 so I can't order it until then anyways. I'm off school and work today, so I am going to work out, play tennis, and go to gymnastics. I want to wake up tomorrow and see below 134. I guess today is the halfway point in my weighins. So far I've lost 7.6 pounds. I think I can lost 1.3 pounds per day for the next 5 days. So 6.5 more pounds hopefully making my total weight loss around 14 pounds. That would be amazing. I'd be down to 129 and I would love that :) Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best <3 Stay strong

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Pro-ana crafts?

So, living on your own is hard. Food, gasoline, insurance, school, and all of the other things in my life seem to cost a lot of money. Moral of the story, I need to raise money. 2 jobs just isn't cutting it. I've decided to set up a pay pal account, and I am going to start making pro ana crafts and selling them. Bracelets, necklaces, rings, headbands, keychains, hairbows, pro-ana survival kits? Does this sound like a good idea? Would anybody be interested in this? lol I really need to find a way to pay my bills

Oh Crap!

I totally forgot to weigh in today because I woke up late and had to dash out the door to get to class on time! I guess I'll just have to weigh in tomorrow morning and I hope there's double weight loss :) Ahh wishful thinking... Any way, some exciting news. I was sitting in the student center studying= reading blogs and this gorgeous girl approached me and totally just recruited me to work at abercrombie. I always wanted to be an abercrombie model and working at the store is the first step! She said I had the perfect look for what they wanted and I have an interview there today at 4. I'm soooooo excited. I hope all goes well. I'd only be able to work 2 or 3 shifts per week, but I'll get a great discount on the clothing and More money to save because my life guarding job is ending soon. Wish me luck

Monday, August 29, 2011

So Nervous

Omg! Tomorrow could be the day. Goal weight #1 :) I really hope that I lost1.2 pounds. That's all I need to reach my goal.weight. Fingers crossed.

Oh Happy Day!

Todays weigh in = 136.2!!! I'm down another 1.8 pounds :) That's a total of  6.8 pounds lost. I gtg right now bc the BF is sitting by me but I'll update later

Sunday, August 28, 2011


I feel great! You would not believe the kind of energy I have :) I feel so light and amazing and free. I don't even have any tummy grumbles or hunger pains. This is awesome! Lo-carb Monster for breakfast (20)Dinnersalad= Lettuce(20) Tomatoes (20) sliced black olives (35) Italian dressing(100) 2 small green apples(140) Total calories= 335 My BMR=1472.55 I life guarded for four hours I figure I burned about 400 there. I waited tables for 5 hours so I figure about 4 of those hours I was actively moving and doing things so that's about 1000 calories burned. Total calories burned today is maybe= 2800ish . According to this, my net calories will be about -2500ish I'm gonna crank out a big old workout so hopefully I can get this number up around -3500 to -4000 and hopefully lose another pound by tomorrow!!! :) I'm only 3 pounds away from my first goal weight! This is so exhilarating. I just feel so floaty and awesome and so clean on the inside. I love not being bogged down with so much food in my tummy. Is anybody else doing this challenge with me? I seriously encourage everyone else to do this challenge, it's the best <3 Sunshinechild69

And The Result Is...

138! I lost another 1.2 pounds in a day bringing my total lost in two day to 5 pounds! Everybody, you need to try the ten day challenge :) I'm telling you, so far it's been the easiest and most successful challenge I've ever done. I have a feeling my weight is below 138 because I've been a little backed up for the past few days lol (Gross overshare, I know, sorry) and I feel like the scale will say something a little lower once I get that little problem fixed. I apologize to Jane Pansy because I just haven't found the time to make my ballet conditioning post yet. Sorry sorry sorry! I'm off work and school tomorrow so I'll do it then :) SOrry for all of these short little posts, but I've just been so busy with work I've work 25 hours these past 3 days and I'm getting ready to put in another 9 today. I promise a big long thinspo filled post tomorrow with hopefully more amazing weight loss results. Gtg to work. <3 sunshinechild

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Apple Obsession

Omg! Green apples rock my socks off. They are seriously the only food I've eaten for two day except my diet pills, lo-carb monster, and my lettuce, tomato,and black olive salad for dinner. I want to weigh myself sooo badly but I can't. I have to wait till morning :) goodnight my lovelies                                                                  <3 sunshinechild

This Really Works!

Time for a quick update before work! I just weighed myself and I am at 139.2 :) yesterday morning it was 143 so I lost 3.8lbs in one day. That's amazing. I'm just so happy right now. I can't even believe it. I promise I'll post more later but I gtg now. How is everyone else doing?

Friday, August 26, 2011

Staring Over

Ok sooooooo I totally binged and messed up horribly at work yesterday ugh but, I'm staring over the ten day challenge today. I just got back from Kmart where I bought sugar free energy drinks, natural fat burning diet pills, sugar free gum, and a scale :) Now, I'm ready to start. According to my scale, my official start weight is 143lbs :/ BMI= 21.74. OMG it's time to get cracking!!!! So I'm cheating a little bit because I can't stand sugar free red bull, so I'm using Lo-carb Monster instead. Only 20 calories per can so it won't be too bad. And I still don't have yogurt, so I think I'll just eat fruits and veggies and zero calorie foods, so that makes up for using Monster instead of Redbull. I hope that my scale fits inside of my pro -ana box because I have to hide it from my boyfriend. I also bought a thing of slimfast shake powder for after my 10 day challenge is over. I think I might do a slimfast fast lol One shake for each meal would be 600 calorie per day. And I would have like one apple at each meal or something Idk, I'll have to plan it out better. Can anybody recommend good diet pills? Thanks!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Challenge Day 1

For anybody doing this challenge with me, here is a big old list of negative calorie foods:
  • Apple
  • Blueberries
  • Cantaloupe
  • Cranberries
  • Grapefruit
  • Honeydew
  • Limes
  • Lemon
  • Mango
  • Orange
  • Papaya
  • Peach
  • Pineapple
  • Raspberries
  • Strawberries
  • Tangerines
  • Tomato
  • Watermelon
  • Asparagus
  • Beet Root
  • Broccoli
  • Cabbage (green)
  • Carrot
  • Cauliflower
  • Celery
  • Chile peppers (hot)
  • Cucumber
  • Dandelion
  • Endive
  • Garden cress
  • Garlic
  • Green beans
  • Lettuce
  • Onion
  • Radishes
  • Spinach
  • Turnip
  • Zucchini                                                                                                                                                           WOW! lol that's quite the list! Those are all of the lovely foods you can eat all day long while doing the ten day challenge. I've kind of messed up on my first day already because I didn't have an energy drink for breakfast, I had water and a small green apple. And I don't have any yogurt, so I'm eating a fruit salad I made that has pineapple, strawberries, and blueberries! It's sooo yummy and apparently its all negative calorie foods. How is everyone else doing today?

Tomorrow, tomorrow!

YAY! So day one of the ten day challenge starts tomorrow :) If you would like to do this with me, I would love some buddies. If you need the rules, they're right HERE I really hope this helps me out to reach that first goal weight, because I promised myself that I couldn't have my school bag until I reach 135 and right now I'm stuck at 137 :p I really need that bag because classes started this week. Hopefully, I can order it in 10 days!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Only one problem though lol where am I going to weigh in at? I get paid tomorrow, so I guess I'll go buy a scale :) Stay strong everybody <3 Sunshinechild69

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Oh Come On!

Lol so my BF got off of work today and we were just laying on the futon  for a second and he said " I feel like I'm losing muscle in my legs, like they're getting skinnier or I'm losing weight or something..." They looked fine to me, but I said "Maybe we should get a scale!" He turned over and looked at me an said "No no no no no" in a really funny voice. I asked why not and he told me bc he doesn't like to weight himself... YEAH RIGHT! He really just doesn't want me weighing myself all the time. He do I know this? Because I asked him and that's what he told me lol Well, it looks like another thing that I'm going to have to add to my box. Ooooh by the way I got a beautiful box to keep all of my Ana survival kit stuff in :) I really need to weigh in.


You know, it really breaks my heart when I come across a pro-ana blog and their most recent post is from months ago and t is their farewell message. Their words just really cut to the bone and make you think. How can one person feel so much pain. Is living with ana going to be this hard for me? Will I ever really be happy? Why do we do this to ourselves when we know how high the price for "perfection" is? I have made this choice for myself and I know what the consequences are, but I hope everyone else has given this a lot of thought, and I want everyone to know you are not alone. We are in this together. We have to encourage each other and stay positive.Here are a few lines that really got to me:                                                                              "This is my last post. I've decided to choose life and living and being alive instead of just existing... we deserve happiness and love, but until we realize that, we'll never be free from the sadness and the loneliness and the desire simply to disappear... I couldn't even look at that tiny body I spent so much time perfecting... I've debated giving up this blog a hundred times but I find myself coming back here most days, but most times it's to remind myself that I'm not sick anymore."~Daisy                                                                                                                               It is with deep and sincere regret that I'm informing you lovely ladies of my indefinite break from Blogger...I deserve health. I deserve to enjoy food (and life in general). Is the purging going to stop tomorrow? No (I actually purged tonight). Am I going to stop taking laxatives or mentally abusing myself by next week? Certainly not. But I'm going to try my fucking hardest. I do not want to be this damaged little girl when I hit 30. Life can be good.
I am a good person.
Food is (mostly) good.
And most importantly,
despite the terrible,
things we do to ourselves,
we are good."
~Eager Enid                                                                                                                        There's a time and a place for everything And it is my time to get better If I don't I'll die, get better or die and I know that I will take it to that. I need to love myself.   ~Fighting to be Me   The rest of this week will be spent undoing everything from today and yesterday.
Basically I hate myself.Don't know when I'll be back on~ Pretty Deadly.                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Ballet Baby!

So I was feeling like a total bum after a long day of classes and dreading the thought of getting up off the comfy couch to work out. I was texting one of my ana buddies Ali and I told her how lazy I was being and she said, "You can do it!" Thank you so much Ali! Those simple word of inspiration at the right time turned into a three hour ballet conditioning workout. I feel great now, so I'm going to post some ballet thinspo.                 <3  

Monday, August 22, 2011

Oh Yeah!!!

So I would just like to say that today was a monumental success. Around 450 calories :) And I'm about to go to gymnastics practice and I'm gonna work my ass off. I just had a snack of half a serving of peanut butter with half a serving of pretzel sticks(150 calories) so I'll have plenty of energy for practice!!I'm super excited! I can't wait until I'm around a scale to see if I've lost any weight yet so I can get my new school bag. Oh I hope I've reached my 1st goal weight.                                                                                                   

10 day challenge!

OK, so I totally stole this idea off of Ascendancy's blog thinsanity ( Beautifully written blog, by the way ) It's for this little thing called the ten day challenge and it seems totally doable! I was wondering if anybody wanted to do this with me? I'm thinking we should start on Thursday, because that's when I get paid and I need to go shopping for supplies. Here are the rules:

10 Day Challenge

Breakfast-Sugar Free Red Bull (or other energy drink)

Lunch-Activia Light Yogurt

Snack Throughout All Day-Herbal Decaf Tea and as many Negative Calorie Foods as you want

Dinner-Fresh Fruit and Veggies

Sleep-7-9 Hours

Exercise-Yoga, Pilates, Weights, Cardio, Swimming, Anything You Feel Comfortable With

Weigh In-Every Morning and Post Stats as often as possible  
                                                                      I'm  excited to give this a try. For the dinners, I'm going to make a big old fruit salad from my recipe on this site (116 calories for 2 1/2 cups of fruit!!) and also the vegetable soup recipeI have up :) (62 calories per cup of soup) and I'll just use these for the whole challenge, but I'm going to leave out the beef bullion cube and see if they have a vegetable stock kind instead. So I guess I need energy drinks, yogurt, celery, tomatoes, cabbage, an onion, carrots, bullion cubes, strawberries, apples, a pineapple, a kiwi, and blueberries. I don't know if I want redbull that early. Especially because I find the taste of sugar free redbull to be repulsive lol. I'll probably just have some hot tea instead. If you want to do this challenge just reply to my post. Staystrong<3

Work it Out!

I am going to have a six pack and strong firm thighs and non wobbly arms and just be so in shape. I want to be so strong and fit and amazingly toned. I'm going to do so many ballet exercises and core workouts and cardio that my dreams will become a reality. I'm sorry that I've been posting so many pictures recently, but they really help to keep me motivated :) So here's some work it out, never give up, keep pushing, one more set, endless energy thinspo!                                                                       

Sunday, August 21, 2011

And Here Comes the Binge

Soooo I'm not gonna lie. I'm drunk right now lol and the BF is so drunk that he's already sleeping in bed. COme on! lol It's only l:53 Am lol I really hate this. I do soooooooo good all day and then He come home from work with food or some other treat. It's not fair! Last not it was pasta con pesce and tonight it's 2 bottle of champagne. Ugh sometimes it really sucks that my BF owns his own restaurant lol Good news is that the champagne only has 80 cal per serving. Bad news is that I drank 3 servings UGH... That's an additional 240 calories that I didn't need. I was doing so good too :( I think I just need to eat breakfast in the morning to get my metabolism going and then wait until he gets home to eat. That seems like the only way to prevent a lot of damage lmao. Sometime when I drink I like to share too much information.My Bf wanted me to come right to bed with him, but I told him that I had to finish watching this show on tv. I hope he just falls very deeply asleep so I don't have to entertain him tonight. I didn't get enough sleep last night and I really want to go to sleep so I can get up to go to church in the morning before work. I reallllllly need to start going back to church for real. I feel so guilty about not going lately. I'm not sure where all of you live, but it seems like mostly the UK, Australia and USA. I wish somebody was online to talk to. I'm just feeling kind stupid for drinking this champagne and ruing my calorie count. I guess this is just another lesson that I need to learn so I can figure out how to consume the least amount of calories possible each day.If anybody is reading my blog, please post some encouragement or something :( feeling kinda down...

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Good Day!

I think I'm finally getting into the swing of things now. First, I fasted until 4:00pm today while I worked at the pool. I think I probably burned a bunch of calories while I was roasting out in the sun for four hours. At my other job, they always give us a buffet that they set up and we get to eat a free meal before we start waiting tables. I could do some major damage there, let me tell you! lol They usually give us a whole load of greasy gravy covered sugar encrusted food options lol. Today I chose plain green beans(30), a teeny weenie serving of mashed potatoes(150), a very small boneless skinless piece of chicken(150), and some lettuce topped with a tiny bit of diced tomatoes and a teeny bit of Italian dressing(100) . I tried to figure out the calories and I figure about  430calories plus 100 calories for any random calories I missed lol I always like to over estimate the amount of calories I had whenever I don't know how many calories I had for sure. So a 530 calorie day? I'll take it :) This is awesome. The good thing is, I don't even feel hungry or weak or starving lol I'm so excited. My BMR is 1494 and I found a website that says I my daily caloric needs are 1.55 x BMR(1494)= 2315.7. I can't believe that I need that many calories each day! That's such a huge amount. I want my calories each day to average out to 800. I need 10,458 calories per week. I want to consume 5,600 per week. That's a deficit of 4,858 each week. 1 pound = 3,500 calories. I'll lose about 1.4 pounds per week, and that's without exercise! I think I could lose at least 2.5 pounds a week. My total weight loss goal is 29lbs so it should take about 3 months to lose all of that weight. I'll be skinny by Christmas! lol I can definitely work harder than that though and lose it faster probably in like 8 weeks. I'm super excited! I can't wait to start seeing results. Good luck to everyone out there working towards similar goals. Stay strong <3Sunshinechild69 

Good night!

Goodnight to all. It's 2am here and I need to get up early for work. Here's some sleepy thinspo for you all. Sweet dreams!