Monday, October 31, 2011

This is it!

Dear body,
          Sorry we haven't talked in a while. Just so you know, starting when we wake up tomorrow, I will be waging all out war against your fat cells. Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of your life. No more cheat days. No more, I can fit this snack into my plan. No more, just one won't hurt.There will be long periods of time in which you will receive no calories. Please don't panic and think I'm starving you. I'm helping you.Trust me, you'll thank me in the long run. Just keep that metabolism fired up. There will be days when you want to quit. Ther will be days when just getting out of bed takes all of your strength, but believe me, you are stronger than you know. I am going to push you to your limits. I am going to make your head spin. I will make you weak at the knees. Your heart will pound, your hands will shake, your vision will blur, but you will push on. Just imagine, back ribs, jutting hip bones that curve all the way up and over, ... thigh gap. No turning back now. No more crying in the mirror. No more regrets. No binges. No candy. No chips. No quitting. No weakness. No fear. Don't worry. it's supposed to hurt. Of course you'll want to quit, but I won't let you. Come with me, take my hand. I'm here with you the whole way. This is for life. Tomorrow, we begin. 6:45 AM You and me. Let's disappear towards perfection. I'll see you bright and early beauty. No excuses. No exceptions. No backing down. Pride, courage, strength. Tomorrow, we begin.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Until 11-11-11

So this is how it's going to go. Sundays 12AM- Monday 4pm fasting. Nothing except coffee, water, tea , energy drinks. Then a greek yogurt and some cereal (300) before practice. Then Tuesday is fastathon, this thing for Muslim student association at my school. One of my best friends is Muslim, and it's this thing to raise money for starving people in other countries and it raises awareness of how they have to fast during certain times of year. They can't eat during sunlight hours or drink anything at all :) Then after the sunset there's this big banquet. I need to be careful there.  Wednesday I will stay under 800. Thursday is a fasting day and I'm going to try fast until right before practice on Saturday morning. Only liquid calories like milk gatorade and v8 if I need them. Sunday= fasting and I don't know what after that. If I want to reach my weight loss goal by 11-11-11 then I need to plan out every day. More to come after work :) Is anyone interested in fasting with me?

Friday, October 28, 2011

Stick With It

I totally stole this off of Skinny Ninny's Blog. I am totally in love with this pic. Whenever you feel like quitting, or giving up, remember this. Never give up! Always keep pushing! Huge Halloween party tonight. I've been fasting since midnight last night and I hope to continue until noon tomorrow. 36 hours of only water, tea, and Calorie free energy drinks. I'm the DD so no calorie laden alcohol for me :D
P.S. Check out this calculator! it shows how much weight you will lose each week based off of your stats and calories consumed. It's amazing!

The Moment You've All Been Waiting For!

Yay finally posting Pics! I'm going to put before and after images up. The before images are when I weighed 143lbs. As of this morning, after two days of major binging I'm sitting at 130.2 :( Not where I wanted to be, but I'll post pics again as soon as I'm at 125! I'm wearing the same undies in the before and after pics, but a different bra so you can tell the difference. Pink bra=before. Striped bra=after.

 Is that almost a thigh gap!?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Another Delay

I am such a procrastinator! I kept hitting snooze on the alarm because I'm lazy and I forgot that I was supposed to have a photoshoot for you all this morning! Ahhhh I'm so sorry. After school, I have to strip down and get dressed for work anyways, so I P R O M I S E ( barring unforeseen catastrophe) I will take and post pics really quick and weigh in. I wish mornings were easier. I believe I will be fasting to day. Just water until work and then at work my Absoulte Zero Monster Energy Drink and lots of coffee ;) 

In response to some of the comments on my Who Am I? post
* Yes I have surfed many times and I absolutley love it! My cousins live in California, So when I go to visit during the summer, we surf almost every morning. It was hard to get my balance at first, but once I got going, it was amazing. I think the hardest part was paddling out. So exhausting! In Missouri, we have a thing called wake boarding where you are dragged behind a boat while standing on a wakeboard and holding onto a rope. It's kinda like surfing a little bit I guess, but it's just not the same.
*I wish rugby was more popular in the states because a lot of my friend think I'm crazy for playing
*I love painting most of all, especially water colors, but drawing with pencil and oil pastel are also Wonderful :)
* My favorite music and artists are Classical music (especially Mozart and Vivaldi), The Dropkick Murphies, Shakira, Pitbull, Aerosmith, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, LMFAO.
* Going to school to be a doctor takes a lot of time and work, but I hope it pays off in the end. I want to be a pediatrician or nutritionist :)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Rain Delay

Just got back from gymnastics.I have to wait until morning  to do the picture post. Sorry a million times. The BF is being all lovey dovey and wont leave me alone for two seconds :) He's in the bathroom right now, so I have 2 minutes of peace. I promise first thing tomorrow morning!<3

Who am I?

I feel like all I talk about is food, dieting, my body, ana, etc all of the time and nobody really knows who I am. So Here is A little information about me you might not know.
* My name is Ashleigh
* I live in St.louis,Missouri, USA
* I am 19 years old
* Favorite sports= Softball, soccer, gymnastics, football, rugby, diving, dance
* I have played violin for 9 years
*I have blonde hair, brown eyes
* I love reading, writing, poetry, listening to music, and naps
* My favorite foods are chocolate, peanut butter, lasagna, mashed potatoes, strawberries, ice cream 
* I am a lifeguard and a waitress
* I am a sophomore in college studying biochemistry to be a doctor
* Favorite colors= pink, yellow, blue, green
* Nicknames= sunshine, smash, smasher, smashley, smashburger, thunderbug, bibi, lazer
* My car= 2008 BMW z3 convertible. Silver, blacktop
* Languages I speak: Fluent Spanish and English. Some German and french
* I am Roman Catholic
* I live in a house just me and my boyfriend
* I have never left my country
* I hate wearing shoes and rarely do, except in public places
* I am super ticklish
* I love talking so much and doing impressions of people
* Dream job= artist or pro-surfer
* Favorite animal= puppies
*I want to be married and have at least 4 kids
* Family= Mom, Dad, 2 older brothers aged 21&23
* One word to describe me= Random

There you go! That's me in a nutshell. Anything else you want to know?

Today is the day!

Hello hello hello! So, today is picture day :) I'm at school right now, so it would be totally inappropriate, not to mention very cold, to strip down to my undies and take pics to post on blogger. However, I totally intend to and will do everything in my power to post pics when I get back from gymnastics. That should be in about 12 hours! Be excited people!! I haven't weighed in yet today either, so I will post the pictures with my new weight. I know it's going to be low, I just know it. I just had the most delicious Fat free Light Boston Cream Pie Yougurt (90). Mmmmmmmm It was scrumptious. I usually don't like light yogurt because I think it has a funny fake taste to it, but this one is amazing. I have a huge homework assignment due in 3 hours that I have not even glanced at. I should probably get on that but it's all fill in the blank and multiple choice, so it shouldn't be too hard. I really don't feel like eating the apple I brought to school today. Too much chewing lol I want soup or something hot. I hope they have something other than chili or creamy soup. I want a light vegetable soup or something... I'll just drink my Monster(0) for now I guess. My question for you all is What is the best way to get rid of bloating other than drinking a lot of water?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

You've Earned the Body You Have

Just so you all know, I weighed in after gymnastics at 129.2!!!! Ooooooh Ya! That's after a day of eating 2 green apples(180) 2Tbs. Peanut butter (190) 3 Pizzelle Cookies(69) 1 Sugar free energy drink (20) Half of a hard sourdough pretzel (50) And some random skittles(30) Total= 539. Not too bad, but a little over what I wanted. My absolute maximum is 800 for each day. 600 is pretty good. Less than 400 is what I really want, but fluctuation in calorie amounts help to keep the metabolism going better. I can not wait to step on the scale in the morning <3 I hope I make it in under 129. Let's aim for 128.6 yes? I am so so so excited and even more determined to get this weight off my body. 125 here I come!

It's me, It's me!

I woke up screaming the other night. It was sooo funny. My boyfriend went to wake me up to tell me to move over and I was having a bad dream I guess and I woke up scared and just started screaming. It was actually really funny after I calmed down. I made it through yesterday without binging at night. Woot woot! It's the little things in life that make a difference. Anyway, I'm feeling strong. I ended up eating some almonds(100?) and half a small pack of skittles(30) after gymnastics bringing my total to about 445 for the day :) That makes me happy. Today I've had an energy drink(20) and a green apple (80) I'm going to do some homework and study a bunch. Maybe go and play tennis before gymnastics? I dunno. I'll probably have my homemade soup again(70) so I can use up all of the spinach before it goes bad. Hmmmm, I need some protein. Maybe another can of tuna? That would bring my day to 410. I kinda want to hold of on the tuna though until after gymnastics so in case if I get really hungry, I can have the tuna then instead of binging on something unhealthy. I might just have pop corn instead because it's low cal and full of fiber. Fiber is good :D Also, you ladies need to start jump roping with me! Jogging burns about 200 calories for me per half hour where jumproping burns 11-20 calories per minute depending on the intensity. That's a minimum of 330 calories per half hour burned and up to 600 calories :) That makes me happy. Anything I eat outside of my plan such as a cookie or brownies will be burnt off before I eat it with jump roping. I'm really craving a brownie right now so I'll have to jump for 30 min to be able to eat it. Hopefully after I jump I won't  want it anymore. I'm going to aim for 45 min jump roping each day. I really need to get my cardio up because I do zip right now. So tell me lovely skinny ladies, what is your favorite calorie torching exercise? <3

Monday, October 24, 2011

Hello Ladies!

I'm back and better than ever :) Feeling light and happy. I'll weigh in tomorrow morning. The fast went well until yesterday when I scarfed 3 doughnuts and 2 1/2 cupcakes. Yikes! I'm now more determined than ever to lose the lbs! Fasting today until right now because I have gymnastics in a few hours and I need fuel for the tank but I don't want to eat too soon before gymnastics because then the food will just bounce around in my tummy. Im having a can of tuna in oil (240) for protein and my soup (75) and I will stop there for the day 315 calories isn't bad right? 4 hours of gymnastics= ->800calories :) How's everyone else doing?

Friday, October 21, 2011

For Now

I need time to reaffirm my control and beliefs. Fasting next 2 days. Just water tea coffee and energy drinks. See you all sunday. Stay strong <3 I hope I can

Thursday, October 20, 2011


Banana=100 Pizellecookies=230(Omg What did I do lol) Calories left today= 270-470. That would bring my total between 600-800. I want to stay at 600 but 800 at the most. I work tonight so I need to be really careful and avoid the pita chips and employee meal. I think Ill make some soup at home( Broth30, spinach10, salsa30=70) If I'm forced to eat at work a salad(>150cal) of tomatoes and lettuce and tiny tiny tiny amount of dressing. That sounds good to me. Another 600 calories day. I really really really need to remember to weigh in before school so that I can track my progress on my 11/11/11 goal. Sigh... lol anyways that was just a quick note so I have a plan in mind so I can be successful today with my eating. Oh ya, and I work for at least 5 hours waitressing so that's about 1000 calories! I hope I work longer so I can burn even more making my burn today 1000ish+1500=2500 atleast! That would be fantastic :) I'm uber excited for this. I just need to stay away from those damn pita chips <3

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I Really Need to Stop Doing That!

So I fasted until I got home from school and around 4:00 I decided it would be good to eat before going to 4 hours of gymnastics. I had 5 pizzelle cookies (115) and some soup I made out of broth(30) spinach (10) and salsa(30) absolutely amazing. Only 185 calories for the whole day :) right? WRONG After gymnastics we went to my bf's brothers house and I just started eating chips... ugh I think about 300 calories worth. I feel gross. Still 485 calories isn't bad for the day, and it's definitely under 800 calories for the day. Who knows? Maybe I had less than 300 calories of chips... lets hope. Just water and tea for the rest of the night. I need to avoid traps like that. I always scarf chips over there. Hmm... Any ways I think I'll do some conditioning before bed time. I think my burn was about 600gymnastics+1500BMR= 2100-485= a deficit of 1650 for the day. Thats almost 1/2 a pound(1800) yay me :D I hope everyone else had a good day! Goodnight skinnies <3


Today I had no time to weigh in because I had to dash out the door again to get to class. I'm such a bad student lol anyways I have 4 hours of gymnastics today so I'm going to fast until about an hour before practice and then have a greek yogurt (160) I get out at 10pm and I hope I can avoid food until the morning. That would be great. Probably almost a 2000 calorie deficit for the day if all goes as planned. I think I'm just going to keep drinking coffee all day to keep me going. *am classes make me so sleepy and then I don't have class again until 2pm. Ugh this is boring. I sit in the student center while all of the weirdos around me stuff their faces, play guitar and sing (if you can call it that. Sounds more like a cat being electrocuted) and talk louder and louder to be heard over the caterwauling guitar players. Why cant people just chill out and have some down time. I'm sitting here in an arm chair kinda slouched down feet on a little table hood up trying to avoid being seen and bothered. Kind of impossible at this school. Cretins  I'm kinda sad I didn't get to weigh in, but it's probably a good thin because I'm waiting for something bathroom related to occur. lol gross overshare. Anyway, I get out of class at 2, so I will weigh in before gymnastics, and after, and probably 6 more times before bed. And immediately in the morning. Lol the life I live... Have you ever heard a whale song? My stomach sounds like that. Feeeeeeeeeed me! FeeeeEEEEEED ME! Think Dory from Finding Nemo. That's seriously what it sounds like. I had a 0calorie Monster Energy drink this morning but I still feel sleepy. I'm still looking for blogs to feature on my page. Email me if your interested!