Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Stupid Car


My car overheated again on the way to take my test yesterday, so I didn't get to get my hair cut yet , and I had to walk for an hour :( Buuuut, I have so other pics for you. Here's a picture of a lovely little skirt I made on my day off today. It wasn't really a day off, but I was forced to take it because I had no car to get to school. I love this color! I would love to hear comments on what would go best with this. My scale is acting weird right now. It keeps turning on then showing zero and clicking off. I think it's time for new batteries :( It's killing me not to know. So instead of weighing today, I took some measurement pics so I could see a little progress when the time comes. I'll check again each Sunday before I go to my dads house. Here's some pics of my waist and hip measurements. I really want to lose an inch off the waist and 1 or 2 off of my hips. I just want to be so tiny and delicate like a little firefly. I have this thing about fireflies... So magical. Anywho I'm going to start my fast in 43 min. Wish me luck :)

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Small loss, Big Smile

 I think that training food got to me, not to mention the 2 yogurts I got up and ate at like 2 AM bc of my munchies... I swear I thought I was going to wake up fat from all that food that was sitting in my belly. I weighed in after my 8 AM class at 128.6! A few time over the past few months I've seen a few numbers as low as 129.6, but 128 has hidden from me for quite some time. So  all together, I've lost 6.8 lbs. I've got today and tomorrow to lose more weight, and then I'll get my weekly total weight loss. I think it could be as high as 8 lbs lost because I have 8 total hours of gymnastics which will burn about 1200 and then 3000 for my BMR = -4200 I'll probably eat around 500 or less each day, so overall -3200. That's almost a pound just calculating the calories. I'll probably burn more, and most likely eat less.  Actually, let's just hope to be at 128 or under on Thursday morning. Then, I'm going to try to fast on Thursday-Sunday dinner. I'm going to begin my restricted healthy eating plan on Monday which will consist of Breakfast= oatmeal &cottage cheese (170) Lunch= fruit or veggie salad (100 or less) Snack = Pure fruit + protein smoothie (100) and then Dinner = Fish (70) + raw or steamed veggies (50) + 1/2 cup Brown rice (110) giving me a 600 cal or less day. :) I'm afraid my weight might go up a little bit from all that food, but the calories are low, so it will go down, and I'll be eating throughout the day instead of starving all day and then eating a little right before bed. Should be better for fueling the old metabolism right? My intake will be about -1500 each day x 7 = -10,500 = 3 lbs. I'm gonna change up my menu each week for about a month starting Monday with about 500 per day. If I lose 2-3 lbs per week for a month, I'll lose 8-12 lbs. For some reason, I don't think that will go unnoticed. At the end of February I will weigh between 116-120 I wonder where I'll be at by Valentine's Day? I'm trying not to let my BF see me with my shirt off until then so he will be surprised by how thin I am. Let's set a goal of 123 on Valentine's morning. I'll be fasting the day before because It's the first day of Lent, so that should help make sure the number is down. I'm going to get my hair cut in a little bit, and I'll post pics. My face has been looking thinner lately, and I haven't seen my family in 2 weeks since my dad accused me of losing weight. I'm going to be like 7-8 lbs less than last time I saw him, so this haircut is the perfect excuse for why my face looks thinner. Any outfit ideas to appear heavier than you are around family? <3

Monday, January 28, 2013

I Swear This is my Secret Really Thin Twin!!

 Not really, but holy cow! That girl looks just like me. I could go put that almost exact outfit on right now. Ahh my new thinspo obsession :D

Yo Dah Lo Da Lay Heee Whoooo!

   Last training meal is over! I got away this time with 4 fries(40), salmon (50) Broccoli & Asparagus (Idk if there was butter, I think they were steamed but just to be safe... (50)) Bite of chicken (50)Bite of pork (25) and 2 Chicken wings (120). So that's and intake of 335. Oh crap! I forgot the monster (20) and Special K crisp thingy (100).So, that's 455. Engh . . .not bad. Maybe I should keep this little >500ish cal pattern we have going on here. Today though, I got a little dizzy today when I was sitting outside on and abnormally warm January day. I couldn't stop staring at the ground and it's like I was tripping balls. The grass looked like it was boiling and bubbling. That's why I ate the Crisp thing this morning. I didn't want to faint or something stupid. I've probably had about 2000 calories these past 5 days from the training meals and such. I've burned about 10,500, so a negative 8500? That"s a definite 2.4 lbs of definite, you can't blame it on water weight, fat gone from my body forever. If I maintained this, in two weeks, I would lose 6.4 definite pounds of lard, but the scale will probably show a lot more like 10-15 lbs. Can you even imagine? I feel like I will be so strong this time. Down, down, down it goes. Where it stops? Nobody knows. So now, a shout out to all of my readers. I always feel so amazed that people read what I say and actually respond to it and encourage me. Your comments mean the world to me, and often, they're the highlight of my day :) Hugs and Kisses ∞!!! For real though ;) Oh my goodness, what if I was at 128 something in the morning? Ok, so here's my question to you lovely ladies (and any gentlemen) What is your height and ultimate goal weight?Lemme know :)

What a Morning!

Exquisite Entrance Heel in Black
 So let's see what's happened so far today. I took a laxi last night because I panicked about the training food, and I kept getting up all night to go to the bathroom. I woke up late for school. Didn't get to weigh myself. Drove to school. My car overheated almost half way there. I couldn't figure out what's wrong with it, so it's sitting on the side of the road. Nobody would answer their phones to come rescue me. I missed my studio art class. I started walking home and walked about 3 miles in 45 min before my BF called me back and came to rescue me. I had a 10 cal Monster energy for breakfast. Then I had a shower. Then I weighed myself... 129 flat!! Whoopee!!! I'm under 130 again :) Apparently that entitles me to a real haircut! Haha! I'm so freaking excited for this. I've been cutting my own hair for over a year now. This is very long over due. I am definitely going to get my hair cut tomorrow after my 8 AM Sociology class. I'm getting a few inches off with some long layers. Air high fives to all 333 of my followers <3  I'm only a pound away from my next goal of 128 which means high heels!! Above is a pic of the ones I'm currently obsessing over. Whadda ya think? 

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Quick Damage Report

Training meal didn't go to bad! :) I had a glass of water, 1 coconut shrimp (70) , 2 grilled shrimp (50), 8 fries (100), 1.5 tbs mac and cheese (50), a bit of salmon (50) and a few bites of salad (50) = 370 I'll say 400 because I want to be safe, as always. I weighed in when I got home 131.2. That's not too bad considering I had all of that food in me and a 16oz water. Hopefully I'm down tomorrow. Fingers crossed XoXo

Current Obsession: Rib Cage

One More Coat Should do it

 Sorry about that title. I'm currently painting my toenails 04 Blingtastic from the Sally Hansen GEM crush collection. It really is a lovely color. The only problem is these sparkly nail polishes take so many coats to look decent. It's a bit frustrating. Especially with nothing but coffee, 0 cal energy drinks, and water for over 62 hours :) Oh ya, you heard that right. 10 hours until it's 3 days with no food. I'm just saying. I weighed in pretty early this morning around 8 AM at 131 lbs. That's a loss of 1.2 lbs yesterday and an overall loss of 4.4 lbs in about 2 days. I will not be going to family dinner today because of my training at work. I won't be eating until about 8 PM at the earliest for the training meal, so that would be 68 hours, no food. I really want to be under 130 by Monday morning. I really need to work on staying hydrated because I didn't drink much water or anything yesterday, and I think I may be holding onto water weight. This would explain my bloated tummy and the decline in weight loss. I think I'll drink a bunch of water today to flush everything out and also take a laxi when I get home from work to make sure that every scrap of food is out of my body by tomorrow morning. Ahhh! I need to lose 1.4lbs for a weight under 130 to show up on the scale. Then hopefully I will be at 129 flat by the end of the week. I really should be studying right now because I have a menu test for work tomorrow and a psychology test, but I'm pretty sure everything is going to go ok. Hmmm question for today. If you could just go crazy and eat one certain food as much as you want without gaining any weight, what would it be? I would have extra cheesy white lasagna made with chicken <3 Do nothing all day, and you will lose weight XoXo

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Old Enough to Know Better, Too Young to Care

 I think this is how my body is going to look when I get to my goal weight. Keira Knightley. She's really thin yet, has some curves and muscle and look at those abs! I love her collar bones too. I feel like I have to "flex" mine sometimes to get them to show. Ya know what I mean? Keira is 5'7'' and weighs 110-115 (BMI 17.23-18.01) I'm an inch taller, so to have the same BMI I need to weigh between 113.5-118.5. I think that 117 is probably the lowest weight I can really function at, so for now, that's my ultimate goal . That would put me at a BMI of 17.79. Only about 15 lbs to go. I'm currently on 45 hours no food and all is well. If I can make it until the after training meal, it will be about 68 hours no food + minimal food at meal + 17ish more hours fasting. I've already lost more than 3 lbs and the fast will be about 3 days in total. What If I could lose 10 lbs in 3 days... I know a ton of this is water weight, and I read that you can only sustain about 1 lb per day of weight loss from fasting. That means only 3 real lbs would be lost BUT! I think this stat was for people that resume normal eating habits after their fast. I'm planning on doing a very restrictive whole fruits and veg only diet for Mon-Wed then fasting again Thursday-Sunday at 6pm. That's 3 days fasting, 3 days of 500 cals or less, then 3.5 more days of fasting. 6 days fasting= 6 lbs gone + 1 more pound from the restricting days. So despite what I lose, 7 lbs will be gone for real. Calorically speaking, that's a deficit of about -12,000 from fasting + - 4500 =-16,500 (4.7 lbs) :/ Boo! But the math's never spot on. I know that I will be successful this time around! I am determined to become very slim. I want to see ribs especially.  I have a plan to not let my boyfriend see my body this whole week while I get rid of all this disgusting weight. If I can shed 7 lbs in a little over a week, I'm sure he will notice. I want him to ask. The funny thin is he thinks I weigh between 125-127. Ha! That means I can lose 5 lbs from where I am now and not draw any questions. After all, my drivers license says 127 so it must be true, right? The best thing is when I lose that 9 lbs this week, I'll be around 126. " 1 lb sure can make a difference, huh? Do you all ever say you weigh less than you do before you lose the weight so people won't suspect anything when you get to that weight? <3 Stay Hungry

How Could I Ever Forget You?

Have you ever tried water/tea/coffee fasting? If you haven't, I highly recommend it. I'm 35 hours into it, which is more than half way there. Yesterday morning, I weighed in at 135.4 after yet another night of binging. This morning I weighed in at . . . 132.2!! That's a loss of 3.2lbs in one day :) That makes me so happy I can't even express my joy in words. I know it  probably won't happen this way, but can you imagine if I lost another 3.2 with the rest of my fast? I'm only half way through the first part, so it could happen, right? Oh! and a thing to consider in all this is yesterday I was extremely lazy. I folded a lot of laundry and cleaned the living room and bathroom, but I didn't really do any exercising. OK, so it's time for some of my usual OCD calculations about theoretical weight loss. If I lost 3.2 lbs in 35 hours, that's 0.091 lbs per hour. My fast is going to be 83 hours in total so 0.091x 83 = 7.5lbs Wow!! I bet if I went for a little run or did dance aerobics inside today I could definitely get there by Monday morning. That would put me at 127.9 That would feel so amazing. Ooooh and good news! I just found out that I have to train tomorrow at 5:30, so I'll have to miss family dinner. There's going to be training food again, but like I said in my previous post, everybody comes around to mooch off of the training food so it will be easy to not eat. Since I have nothing to do today though, I might come and see my family today, which poses the danger of food again :( The good thing is I can go to optional practice for gymnastics today from 12-3 so that's at least 600 calories down, so If I do end up seeing my family, I can hopefully eat only a tiny bit of food and it will be negated by the exercising. I have to leave in like 10min so I guess I'll just leave it there for now. I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend <3 Stay strong

Friday, January 25, 2013

A Drawn Line

 Let's see, we are at 20:46 with the fast. That's about 31% of the way through the first part of my 66 hour fast. If I do the extra 17 hours after Sunday dinner, I'm only 25% through. I have been going through some roughness through the New Year with late night binges. It's disgusting, but I won't let it happen again. It made me shoot up to 135 on the scale. I am ashamed of myself, but my new determination is born from my disgust. I will not stop fasting until I am below 130. I hate being in the 30s and once I get below and into the 20s again, I know I will be in a much better place. The hardest thing is going to be making it through this first night without giving into temptation. When I wake up in the morning, probably around 9 I will be 33 hours in and the pride of knowing that I'm half way there will fuel me through to Sunday evening. I was reading about fasting, and they said that the first two days, depending on different variables, the average person will lose 2 lbs per day for the first 2-3 days and then 1 lb per day after. I think I could easily lose 5 lbs in this fast, especially because I weighed myself this morning after another late night binge. I think after my fast I will just have pure fruit and water smoothies all week unless I have work training, bc then I'll be forced to eat regular food :( I don't want to gain weight back after my fast, so its going to be fasting until Sunday 6:00 PM , then resume the fast at 7:00 PM until noon on Monday. Noon is when I get out of my studio art class, but I can't bring a smoothie to school at 9AM and expect it to still be good 3 hours later. I will probably just bring a mixture of strawberries and a sliced banana for lunch and I'll have a proper smoothie when I get home around 3:30. I think I'll take in 500 or less Monday-Wednesday because I have practice, and then I'll fast Thursday (midnight Wednesday night)-Sunday at 6 again, but this time the fast will be for 90 hours I guess. I think that once I complete this, I will be prepared to stick with the more varied eating plan that I was on before. I can't wait to feel that dizzy fasting pure energy upon waking in the morning. Perhaps I'll sleep in late to make the fast go a little more easily... actually this fast should be about changing my ways, so I'm not taking the easy way out. I'll just entertain myself with writing, hot tea, and a good book. Probably gonna be Harry Potter for the 1000th time ;)  Also, I have a lot of studying to do for sociology and I want to make organizers for my top 2 dresser drawers. I am going to keep myself so busy with school work and cleaning so I have no time to even think about eating. Question: How do you all distract yourselves while fasting? <3  

The Silver Lining

 Bad news. My fast was disrupted because my training was postponed until last night. Great news. So after my training when they started bringing out the food, I was getting a little nervous. Turns out, the people at my work are a bunch of fat mooches, so they kept coming around and eating all of our food. All I hat was a thin slice of ahi tuna, a few forks of dry salad, 5 spoons of mashed potato, and some spoons of dessert. Not too bad, but I will be fasting at Midnight and going until Sunday at 6 PM for family dinner. That's 66 hours still, but I wanted more! I can probably get away with only a little damage if I play my cards right, and then carry on until Lunch on Monday Which would add on an extra 17ish Hours. I want to see how long I can go. Whats the longest time you have fasted for?

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Curious

 I want to plan a big fast with no excuses and no failed attempts. I haven't eaten in about 14 hours now and it would be rather easy to carry on until tomorrow, but I just got this new job at Outback Steakhouse and I have training for 2 hours today and then I have to rush over to the last 2 hours of gymnastics practice. Then I have more training tomorrow and 4 hours of practice. First of all, I don't like fasting through gymnastics because I get dizzy sometimes, and dizzy + gymnastics = baaaad times. The more important reason that I can't fast is because when your at training, they give you like a feast of their food to eat and this happens on three different training nights! They want you to try everything on the menu, including desserts, before you start working. They told me " You are going to be so full during your training nights that you'll barely be able to walk out of here" That is a terrifying thought and even more of a reason to fast! I  don't know when my last training day will be, but they don't train people on the weekends, so I think I am going to fast on  Thursday-Sunday dinner at dad's house. If I start after practice on Wednesday (10PM) and continue through to about 6PM on Sunday. That's about 3 day 20 hours or 92 hours. I'm excited, especially because my dad got on my case about being thin, so at dinner on Sunday when I break my fast, I will probably lose control and tear through some food at his house, so he has no reason to question my eating habits. If I repeat this for a few weeks, I should be able to lose at least 3 pounds on the fasting days. Ugh... I just want really thin legs and hips. I need to get my ass in gear <3 

Sunday, January 20, 2013

A Different Direction

  Sooo, I started a new blog :) It's going to be about everything I do when I'm not obsessing over food. See, I do have a life outside of Ana... (sometimes) Check it out sometime! Only one post up right now, but slowly but surely, I will be fully up and running http://whytiptoethroughlife.blogspot.com/

Exactly

anorexic, depressed, depressed girl, eating issues

Fear

You know, I have a thought that always bothers me. Where do I go from here? I'm doing rather well restricting and I feel like I'm shrinking. The bones are starting to make a reappearance. The sad part is, I feel like each day all I do is eat, think about what I ate, think about what I'm going to eat next, write diet plans, write groceries lists, workout, make up new exercise plans, weigh myself 4-5 times, stare at myself in the mirror, and then I feel like I'm just waiting and waiting until the next meal. My whole life is just a fucking food obsession. I feel like I need to find some activities to do or something. So what happens when we get to a low enough weight? Do I keep restricting to stay there or can I eat "normally"? Is this all temporary or will it go away? When I get thin enough will the thoughts go away? How will I know if I'm thin enough? I hate hate hate this so much, yet I love it. There's something wrong with me...Anyways, here's a picture of me flexing after my workout yesterday. I really need to focus on my thighs. Oh and I swear I don't have a muffin top. It just kind looks that way in the pic because of how I'm turned. <3 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Wah-hoo!

For the first time in a very very loooooong time, I woke up absolutely famished! All I had yesterday was some fruit and yogurt (140) and then I binged on chocolate chips (300) buuuut, that's only 440 :) How am I rewarding myself today? By fasting, of course!! I feel so amazingly wonderful, and I have so much energy, it's unbelievable! I wonder how long I can fast for? Two days? Three? Challenge accepted <3

Monday, January 14, 2013

I'm Going Ultra Thin

That's right, you heard me! Time for another one of my hair brained schemes that rarely ever pans out, but what the heck, I'll give it a try. I'm not going to lie, for the past week, I was super stressed out,  my period was late, 8 days! :o,and it finally started yesterday, thank God! I'm going to blame my total lack of control and all night and all day binge eating for the past 4 days on stress and PMS. Sounds legit, right? Well my dear friends, this is what Mondays are made of: regret, guilt, body hatred, head in hands, inspiration to do better, and finally, intricate plans detailing how much better I'm going to do this time around ** fingers crossed**  I find that plans that are simple and repetitive are best for me because variation tends to leave more room for excuses and ultimately, failure. I will not accept failure this time. Damn it, it's a new year, and I never want to see 135 on the scale again. My rest of my life goal is to get under 130 and never rise above it again (Unless I have a baby some day, but that's an entirely separate thing) At home, I have a nice supply of fruits, veg, tea, nonfat yogurt, oatmeal, and low fat cottage cheese. I want to stick mainly to those things for my plans until they're all used up, because I hate wasting food. I am going to do my plans one week at a time and reevaluate on Sunday evening for the next week. I will weigh in on Sunday mornings and report my losses. This is how it's going to go: Breakfast = Black coffee or Plain Tea + oatmeal(130) mixed with cottage cheese (40) Lunch= Homemade fruit salad (70) + half cup zero fat greek yogurt (60) Snack= Smoothie : fruit (70) + a protein (50) This can be yogurt, cottage cheese, or Peanut butter and Dinner= Salad: 1 cup spinach (15) + turkey (50) + salsa (15) Total= 500 That worked out perfectly! I think if I stick to my plan the day before, then the next day I earn a 100 cal or less dessert Yay me <3

My Resolutions

1. Stop late night binge eating   2. Do daily conditioning plan every day   3. Wash face, brush teeth, and floss every morning and night   4. Eat healthy, 5. Daily vitamins    whole foods (no more junk food) 6. Follow cleaning schedule 7. Drink 8 glasses of water daily. 8.Limit computer time to 1 hour per day 9. Start goals jar  10. Organize closet and get rid of all unneeded junk 1st of every month                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Keep Calm and Don't you Dare Eat That!

 I don't know where this magic comes from. Is it only Ana's girls who can see the glimmering , mysterious beauty that surrounds a life of nothingness? There is such an electric thrill that accompanies thoughts of jutting hipbones, delicately laced ribs, and perfectly protruding collar bones. I swear, when I have cut down to the minimum, been in control of myself, and been at my thinnest  I am invincible. Nothing in this world can hurt me because I am not a part of this world. I float above in. My favorite kind of thinspo is the kind that is hazy, ethereal, enchanted almost. The kind that truly make me believe that extreme thinness is not so much a bodily condition, it's a place. The moment when I most clearly felt this was over a year ago when I first lost weight very quickly, about 11 lbs in 10 days. I was so amazed with my new body. I remember I woke up in the hazy light of early morning, and I was wearing a t-shirt and undies. My stomach was burning with hunger, and I reached down to feel my sunken stomach and the stark curve of my hipbones. I closed my eyes, and I felt my boyfriend reach down and run his hand gently over my hip and down across my tummy. He whispered in my ear, " wow, you're so skinny" and then he pulled me close to him. It's moments like this that I need to keep in mind when I feel myself losing focus. It's time to restrict like crazy. I don't care about safe or healthy. I care about thin. I don't want to hear about the risks, or the pain, or the sacrifices. Just thin please. This year , I'm really going to learn the meaning, of dedication, commitment, determination, and happiness. It's time to reorganize and get in gear for some major changes. 

Damn...

Semester started up again today. Looks like I'm taking sociology, world religions, psychology, English,  and a 6 hour studio art class. Not too bad of a schedule, but I had to get up at 7:45 today, and after a nice month long break waking up at 10:30 or later most days, 7:45 is the crack of dawn. Trust me. Not to mention that I stayed up until about 1:30, so I got a little over 6 hours of sleep. Yay me! Ok, pity party is officially over... Now! I have the most unique ( aka weirdest) group of class mates in my studio art class. I haven't seen any of their work, but they all seem pretty convinced that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. I just wish so many people weren't so damn pleased with themselves. ugh. It makes me sick. Any who, I was looking down at my phone texting when this girl walked into the class room with some super slim legs. They were amazing! I know this sounds creepy, but I'll definitely be watching her. So, I'm not sure if I explained this before, but keeping up with promises or goals is very difficult for me, especially when I think about how much easier and more enjoyable it is to just lounge about on the couch all day and watch netflix while cramming junk food in my face and staring at pictures of really thin girls on the internet wondering why the hell  my bones don't stick out that much. well, now that school has started back up, I have no excuses. I scheduled my classes rather early in the morning so that I have to get up and out of bed. Hopefully this also encourages me to go to bed a little earlier and not have late night junk food benders that leave me feeling like a damn overstuffed turkey. Ugh! The point of this whole little rant is that I didn't want to ruin my relaxing break by starting a bunch of stressful and challenging resolutions that I'm probably going to miserably fail at. Well since term started today, resolutions start today. Throw that damn negative attitude right out the door, Sunshine! You  are brilliant, and you can do this!  you will do this!!! I'm serious this time. I know I have a bit of a history of making brilliant plans , diving head in, and then crashing and burning spectacularly... and then making new plans and repeating the cycle. Well, I've figured out my problem. I give my self way too much leniency. I always make excuses in my head like, Oh well they offered me food I HAVE to eat it. Or If I don't eat, I won't have energy for gymnastics. Or people will notice that I'm not eating and ask awkward questions! Well I need to come up with a plan of action in case this happens again. ~Brainstorming~ The people who I most often have to eat around are my family on Sunday afternoons and then my Bf who I live with. I will eat with my family without acting weird, but I will try to only take small portions if possible and load up on the side salad or veggies or whatever is healthy. My dad is already a little suspicious I think, so I need to be very very careful. As far as the issue of my bf goes, he like to bring food home for me from his restaurant a lot. The easiest thing to say to him is that I just ate, or I'll say I'm saving it for later or something. I really hate to waste food when somebody else could be eating it, so I'll offer him some while he's watching TV, and he'll probably just gobble most of it up without thinking. As far as the issue of gymnastics goes, I'm just being a wimp. I'll always have water with me, and I'll pack a small healthy snack for those intense days where they give us a half way break. If people ask awkward questions about my weight my reasons will be 1) we are practicing a lot at gymnastics and I'm the same weight, just a lot more toned. or (2 I got new running shoes for Christmas ( which is true) and I've been going on lot's of runs because the weather has been pretty nice( which is also true) I don't think I should have too much of an issue from anyone besides my family, because nobody else really cares. I feel like I've rambled on much too long for just one post so I'm going to make a few more posts about the plan and diet and everything else that's going on <3 Stay strong.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Insomnia Sends Me Blogging

. Here's some inspiring before and after thinspo you might appreciate :) tiny-please:

Before and afters make everything seems possible

Hey! Check It Out!

A nifty little site I came across last night. Has excellent tips on getting started with pro ana and guides you towards success click Here Ok? Ok!

Monday, January 7, 2013

I Think They're Working!


 Good news :) I think the raspberry keytones are working. You're supposed to take then a 1/2 hour before eating. Today I start up all of my resolutions, and one of them is taking the keytones every day. I had a cup of black coffee for breakfast and then didn't eat until about 3:30 in the afternoon. I made a salad from 2 cups spinach (14) feta (50) greek dressing (50) and a medium tomato (25) = 139 calories. Honestly, about half way through, I had absolutely no appetite anymore. I had to literally force myself to eat more, and I left most of the tomato in the bowl. I usually love tomato, but not today. The salad was probably more around 125 because of the uneaten tomato. For dinner, I'm planning on making some shrimp stir fry. It will be 1/2 Tbs. of oil (60) 6oz shrimp (154) 1/2 cup cilantro (1.5) 1 clove garlic (4) 1 tsp. salt and pepper (2.5) = 222 That's if I eat half of the recipe, which I probably won't be able to finish because of the raspberry keytones. Today, I will win the battle <3

Wanderlust

 Seriously, I need a change. I always feel like I'm wasting my time and talents. I really need to discover what I'm supposed to do in life and put my heart and soul into it. I feel like traveling may be the doorway to my success. Once again , it's time to plan, but this time, I'm actually going to carry through with it. I just feel time slipping away from me. Time to get to it. Oh and when I visited my family yesterday, the first thing my dad said to me was " you need to stop losing so much weight!" I convinced him it was just the jeans and long sleeve dark shirt I was wearing. I need advice from you guys. How do you look heavier than you are? How do you hide weight loss?

Friday, January 4, 2013

A Nice Surprise


My cousin posted some picture on face book from our family Christmas party last weekend. Surprisingly  my legs looked really nice to me in the pic so I though I'd post one up as a sort of progress pic :) Forgive the silly pose lol We were doing the YMCA like the Village People. I was the M. Oh wow, and I'm sorry if I'm sounding conceited or braggy, but I got home from gymnastics practice the other day, and I was changing out of my gym clothes and I had the most ripped 6 pack. It was amazing! I couldn't even believe it. I haven't weighed myself in quite a while, and I have a new 3 week diet and exercise plan going, so I'm not going to weigh myself 'till the very end so I don't get discouraged. I really hope I can stick to this new plan. I read something that said it only takes 18 days to develop a new habit or routine. Let's see how I do with 21 <3 

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Raspberry Ketones

I'm thinking of trying them out. Anyone have and experience with them? Fasting starting after practice tomorrow 10PM... Maybe I'' post my list of resolutions tomorrow.