Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Vicious Cycle

"I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat."

I'm starting to get that dark eyes, exhausted, starving artist look. I only weigh in once a week now, but the numbers hold steady. Hovering just a hair above "underweight." I've never been so small for so long. Idk when I last weighed in above 125. It's scary how easy this is all becoming.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Sitting Pretty

Have you all noticed a shift in your set weight since all the Ana madness ensued?

Back before all of this, in my Senior year of high school, my weigh would sit between 135-140 
if I wasn't consciously trying to manage it.

Once college happened, and I became obsessed with the numbers 
133 was an amazing number, and anything above 137 was absolutely disgusting
The I dropped into the 130-135 range
and down 
and down
 and down
Now my weight naturally sits between 123 and 127 without me even trying to maintain
I guess my habits have changed and i just didn't notice
If I start to approach anything resembling 130, I panic and starve
last time I weighed, I was 123.6

I don't look any different, but i always feel like I can feel the bones in my face protruding
You can't possibly lose 14% of your body weight and not notice
idk, though...
I feel like I look the exact same, 
but with a high weigh of 143, those 20 lbs obviously went somewhere...