Tuesday, March 27, 2012

It Just Makes Sense

I have decided to do the Russian gymnast diet for a week.  I am going to modify it a little bit though.  Because I don't like juice very much, breakfast with be 2 small green apples. Lunch will be fresh fruit, and on the days I have gymnastics, a small protein source, like eggs, turkey, tuna, or some nuts. Dinner with be water and an apple. On the all fruit days, calories should be around 400, and on the day with protein, it will be around 550. Lets see, I will have 4 gym days and 3 not gym days. Thats 1650 + 1200 = 2850 calories for this week and about 1600( BMR) x 7 = 11,200 + ( 800 x 4 ) workout calories =14,400 burned this week.  14,400- 2850 = 11,550 negative calories this week which equals 3.3 lbs I should lose, but I guess that I will lose around 5 lbs, because thats how it always seems to work out when I eat a lot of apples. Right now, I'm at 133 ( I hate period binges) and I want to be at 127 by the end of this. Wish me luck! Anybody want to do this diet with me?

Friday, March 23, 2012

Before and After

This is my progress so far. First picture is at my highest weight, around 143. The second picture is from the other day, around 129. I've been so off track lately. I need to step it up and get better abs and some thigh gap! Once I get down to 127, I'll take another undies pic lol. I'm over half way there. I want to maintain 117 -120 for Italy then I'll drop more when I get back :) I better be able to lose 12 lbs in 10 weeks. I could even do that in a healthy way lol. I kinda want to get super skinny just to make my Bfs friends reaction. I want to see if he really catches on and notices if I drop more weight. 

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Magic Words

Quote from a conversation I had with my boyfriend last night, " As long as you're not stressing about food it doesn't matter. You know what I mean? Like, as long as you're not thinking, Oh if I eat this doughnut my ass is going to get huge! I mean, even if you got too skinny, it wouldn't matter because I know you aren't doing it on purpose. That's just the way your body works."  ~ Oh I think I'm in love :) ~

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Interesting Website

www.skinnygossip.com/fat-pride-burns-my-hide/   Check it out. This chick is seriously a good writer and cracks me up :) Major thinspo as well!

I See Abs!

                                                                              Oh and the other day I was told that I have a dinosaur back. I was like what?? ( This was coming from the friend that called me out)  Basically it means my spine sticks out. Compliment? Absolutely. What diet should I try out this time? Readers choice lol Options are Russian Gymnast Diet. Skinny Girl Diet. ABC Diet. Smoothie Diet.  Ummm any other Ideas? Let me know. I'll try anything :)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


Okay, so I've been away for a little bit. Thank you for all the comments while I was away :) Oh, and thank you to all of my new followers. So, the moment you've all been waiting for, THE STORY! Soooo my boyfriend is such a sweet and caring guy, but he can be a bit absent minded and forgetful at times. He's more of a big picture guy. He doesn't really notice the small details. He has this friend who is over all the time and he stays the night a lot too. Well, I really love reading, and next to the side of the couch, I have a big stack of books. One of those books happens to be Wasted, by Marya Hornbacher. One day, a few months ago, my boyfriend and his friend were cleaning up the house. I guess his friend saw the book, and he asked my why I was reading it, I told him how I was just interested in the book. He didn't say anything else, and life went on as normal. A few nights ago, we were all hanging out, and he and my boyfriend were kinda drunk ( so was I  lol) and I'm not sure how we got onto the subject, but his friend was talking about a girl he was seeing and how she would just be so beautiful if she was healthier and worked out more. I agreed with him, and all the sudden he just turned and looked really mean, and he was like, " Honestly, I think you could stand to gain a little weight" My boyfriend looked really confused, and I said " I think my weight is fine" and my boyfriend said " What are you talking about, she looks great" The the friend was like, ''You know what? I'm calling you out. I think that you have eating problems." I responded with " What are you talking about? I eat all the time!" And my boyfriend said " Ya she eats constantly.'' The friend said " You just think about it way too much. I can tell. And you always looking at your stomach in the mirror. You might eat a lot sometimes, but when you don't, you under eat waaay too much." We argued some more about this and the he said " I think you have anorexic tendencies and binge eating tendencies as well" ( HOW the hell does he know that!?) I was just basically speechless, but thankfully my mouth took over on it's own and denied everything like a pro :) My boyfriend chimed in " She lives with me. There's no way she has an eating disorder, I see her eat all the time. Unless she has bullimia, but I would know because we only have one bathroom, and I would be able to tell." ( I love him) Anyways after talking him down, I figured it was over and that he would just be too drunk and not remember it in the morning. ( I was so scared because he was siting on the side of the couch by my stack of books, and I had a notebook sitting right on top of the stack that has all of my calories and weights and measurements and ED rants and thoughts. He was so close to having solid evidence! As soon as he left the room, I took my books and stashed them away) It turns out the next day, he brought it up again, I denied it to the fullest, and he said that he's been suspicious ever since he saw the book. ( Thank God he didn't find my note book, or Wintergirls, or Feeling for Bones) He also informed me that he would be " Watching me" I guess I need to be more careful. I had no idea that he could tell I'm not eating, because I always eat when I'm with friends and they're eating, because I don't want them to get suspicious. The only time I majorly all out restrict is when I'm on my own. I don't know what is going to come of this, but I stashed away all of my ED related stuff and cleared my history. Ugh I hope this all just blows over and we never bring it up again. That was a close one! How have you all been?

Monday, March 19, 2012

Friday, March 9, 2012


My Tumtum

  All the crap I've been eating lately has caught up to me. I feel so gross and bloated and my body is just trying to push all of this nasty stuff out of me asap lol over share I know. I wish my tax return money would get here!!! I'm so impatient. It's Friday, so that means fast day. I think today, I am going to just catch up on everything correspondence wise and studying wise... and then I'm going to work my ass off. So much exercise today, you have no idea. I'm going to do the workout I posted a few days ago, then I'll do a bunch more workouts until I feel like I'm going to pass out. Then I'll work on some projects, then I'll work out some more. I'm just feeling kinda gross right now. <3 Sunshine

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Italian Initiative

I'm really going through with it this time. No fear, no excuses. I will be some living thinspo. I will be strong. Today is day one of my countdown to Italy challenge. I will only eat healthy whole foods. I will not sit around anymore or stay up till 3 AM every night and wake up past noon. Here is the goal. By June 1st I will have 6 pack abs, have thigh gap, weigh 123 or under, I will complete the 100 push ups and 200 sit ups challenge. Does anybody want to have a competition? Most weight loss or best look improvement? We can all follow the same workout program if you want.  Every day minimun, I am going to do 10 demi and 10 grand plies in each of the five positions (100 plies), pushup challenge and situp challenge ( look it up by clicking on the link above), 30 seconds of  L-sits ( sit on the ground with legs straight out. Put your hands on the ground on either side of your thighs. Push your self up of the ground so your legs and but are hovering a few inches off the ground. keep legs straight and try to hold your self up as long as possible) , 30 leg lifts, at least 30 min cardio, and full stretch out twice per day 9 especially all three splits and bridge. I know this seems a little intense, but it's conditioning for my gymnastics, and I really need it. I want my body to be rock solid by the time I leave for Italy. I am so excited right now to start working out and getting my ass into ultimate shape :) Who's in for the challenge???

Friday, March 2, 2012

Catching Up

  I know I say this every time. But, it's for real this time. I have March, April, and about half of May to get in shape for Italy. I need thigh gap, six pack abs, and no love handles what so ever.  I am practicing Italian every day, working out every day, and I will never have another idle moment. I hate how much time I waste. I sit around so much it's disgusting really. Every day, I will clean, workout, study, do my extracurricular studies ( Italian, music, extra studies), and complete my daily project. Only then can I sit around on my fat ass. I got down to 126.6 in my fruit fast, and promptly ruined that with a 2 day binge. Great... Good news, today is Friday fasting. More good news, I'm getting a bunch of money back from my taxes, so I can pay for my Italy ticket and passport. I'm so freaking excited!!!!!!! I'm going to start an Italy countdown challenge soon for myself. Feel free to do the challenge with me. My legs make me so sad. I want them not to touch. Question, what is your worst area?