Thursday, September 27, 2012

Jealous Bitch Alert!

Hello lovely readers. You know how sometimes people leave horribly mean and rude comments on your blog, and you think it's probably best to just ignore or delete the comment? I prefer to call them out and set them straight. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, If you do not approve of  pro-ana blogs or weight loss blogs, get the hell away from my site! Seriously, if you don't like what I'm doing,then why are you browsing through my page? Here is the post that was commented on if you want to check it out. This is what was said,                            AnonymousSeptember 26, 2012 9:23 AM
"You are waaay too skinny and you look like you have some type of eating disorder. 50 years ago, men would have avoided you like the plague because you look sickly.

Gain some weight."                                                                                                                                            And here was my response, SunshinechildSeptember 27, 2012 12:19 PM

"First of all, stay off my blog if you only have negative things to say. Secondly, I'm at a healthy weight for my height, so any medical professional would not tell me I need to gain weight. 3rd of all, 50 years ago was 1962, the beginning of models having super slim bodies, so I'm pretty sure men would not have " avoided me like the plague" Finally, if I do have "some type of eating disorder" do you really think that you saying hurtful things about my body is going to help? Have a nice day! "            I think it's so damn funny because first of all, they comment anonymously because they are too afraid to put who they really are. Secondly, I know they just want to get a response out of me and want to hurt my feelings, so they will check back to see if I said anything. Well you know what, it does hurt my feelings that people are so mean and jealous, but it will not change my outlook on life or what I am doing. Their comments are falling on deaf ears. Also, I'm pretty sure they were probably looking up something on google about weight loss and that's how they came across my blog. Dear anonymous comment leaver, I'm sorry that you're overweight and unhappy with your body shape. If you want some help losing the extra pounds, I'd be more than happy to give any advice that I can, but I have no time for your insults and hurtful words. There is only room for positive comments here. If you don't like what I do or say, then get off of my blog. I hope you check back here and read this and take a really close look at yourself before you start judging others. Any time you wish to apologize, I'll be here waiting patiently. <3

Meet Season

Meet season is starting up soon for gymnastics, so everyone is paranoid about getting everything perfect and cutting weight before the first meet, November10th. Some very taumatizing things were said this week. Ok so, traumatizing thing #1, I got up on the low bar and was going to the high bar and this little tiny 8 year old girl says to me, "Geeze, don't break the bar!" Seriously!? I'm sorry that I'm not 3ft tall and 42lbs. STFU. Traumatizing thing #2  This was said by another  girl on the team that was staring at me " It's so weird. Your stomach is so flat and tiny and then your thighs are so big." I about died from embarrassment  but my coach came in and saved me from hitting her by saying, " It's because she actually has strong muscles in her legs" oooh you should have seen the way her face changed from a mocking know it all smile to angry face. Ha! She's like 12 years old and in that stage of life where she thinks she's all that, and I'm glad somebody put her in her place. Traumatizing thing #3 said by the head coach to all of us, " All of your strength moves will be a lot easier if you cut some weight. Think about it. Less weight your muscles have to support, especially for our taller girls." Then he looked right at me and another girl. And the final traumatizing thing. We were working on a drill where we stacked up mats so they were angled downward at about 45 degree angle. We had to do a hand stand then snap our feet down and do 2 back hand springs down the hill. The little girls had no problem with this but the bigger girls had a little bit of trouble. The coach put a stiffer mat over the squishy mat and suddenly things were a lot easier for the big girls but harder for the smaller girls. He then explained that the squishy mat was harder to do them on for the bigger girls because we sank into the mat instead of bouncing off of it, but we had more leg muscle so we could do it off of the harder surface easier. All I heard was, you're too heavy to do this drill properly so we had to bring in a harder mat for you to do it off of. :/ Oh well just more motivation to cut weight fast. <3 Stay strong

Turning Over a New Leaf

    Now that Autumn is here it's time to turn over a new leaf ( Pun fully intended) These past few months, I've learned that if I give myself any sort of leeway , then I completely lose control. SOOO, from here on out, I will have everysinglefreakingmeal planned out before the day even begins. I am so irritated with myself lately. I'll restrict all day, and then as soon as 10PM comes around, all hell breaks loose. Monday-Wednesday, I have gymnastics from 5:30-10:00, so after gymnastics, from now on, no eating. On Thursday and Friday, I work from 5PM- 10PM, so again, no eating once I get home. Saturday, I work all day 10AM- 10PM No eating after work. Sunday, I work 10AM- 4PM and then I go to Mass from 5-6ish. Sunday is the day that I visit my family, so I will just have dinner with them, and that is it. So basically, if I want to eat, it has to be before 5PM except on Sundays. I need to regain control over myself big time. Today, I am fasting all day, until I wake up in the morning. I should probably fast tomorrow as well... Let's see how day one goes, and I'll move on from there. I've just got to take this one day at a time.  <3 Stay strong

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

What is Going On

Blogger must hate me right now. I keep getting locked out for no apparent reason or it says " unknown user" So so so very frustrating. I am still offering a prize for the weight loss competition, but seeing as I can't get into blogger enough to post consistently, make sure you post your updates to (Size) Zero Intentions. I am not going to weigh in until this thing is over so I can be surprised by my results. I hope everyone is well, and I hope Blogger stops being so ridiculous. <3 Stay strong :)

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Worst of Times

  So for some reason I was locked out of blogger. I know what my password is and when I tried to put it in they said it was incorrect and no matter how many time I tried to get in, it wouldn't let me in. I asked for a password reset,tried the new password, still wouldn't let me in... It was so fucking frustrating that I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window. In the mean time I've been binging and purging like crazy. This is so weird for me because I've ever really had a problem with b/p. I think it might be from all of the stress I've been going through lately with school, my mom telling me I'm not welcome in her family, and competition season starting for gymnastics soon, My head is finally starting to clear up, and I'm getting back to restricting properly. My weight is right back where I started at, and that infuriates me to no end. I'm tired of trying to do this in a healthy way. That just leads to binging. I'm going to come up with weekly menus that I have to follow to the letter, or I will have to fast all the next day. I'm so mad at myself right now. I need to lose as much weight as possible, at lest 3lbs per week for the rest of this challenge. Hopefully I'll be down 12 lbs by the end of this. I need some serious help and support right about now.