Monday, March 17, 2014

That's What Demons Do

   This is the first day in a long time that I've actually felt anorexic. Over the past year, it's like I've just been flipping back and forth, not committing to normalcy or self destruction. I was always just toying around and never giving myself fully to my vices. The time for wandering has come to an end, and I am about to ride down the mountain into the promised land.

   Today at breakfast was a marked difference than any day before in recent history. I had to go out to breakfast at Ihop with the bf. Usually I would just eat a little of everything and then just move food around until everyone else is finished, Talking a lot slowed down my eating kept my mind off of wanting to eat more.

  This morning was different. Each forkful of food made my purse my lips in anxiety and disgust. I did not want any of this "food" entering my perfectly clean and empty body. I actually had to force myself to eat in order to avoid suspicion. Idk what changed, but it must be the luck of the Irish.

After my family dinner cheat day yesterday, I weighed in at 129.2 I feel like Sunday cheat days are going to become a thing of the past quite soon. Tiny thigh gap has emerged, but not enough to show a pic yet. I will post a full body pic at 128 flat ;)


Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Quick Weight Update

I'm under 130 again, 129.6 to be exact, and it's held there for three days now. 
With strict restriction, <800 per day, I brought my weight down from an appalling 139.4 in about a week.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Just saying :)
As the world brightens, so do my spirits.
Last time, 126 meant slight thigh gap.
I can already see it happening again.
My goal for Monday morning is 127.5 or under.
Watch me disappear
Xo Sunshine

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Marmalade Skys

Not too much to report here. Yesterday I ate broccoli and pineapple. <400 for sure. I need the sun and warm breezes. Under the oppressive shade of winter, my spirit wilts and withers. All winter I've kept myself shelled up and safely buried under the earth. Soon I shall sprout from my hiding place, and pull myself from my underground sanctuary. I will stretch towards the sun with my head floating in the clouds and my feet rooted firmly in the soil. The summer shall be mine.
Until the sun returns XoXo,