Monday, March 17, 2014

That's What Demons Do

   This is the first day in a long time that I've actually felt anorexic. Over the past year, it's like I've just been flipping back and forth, not committing to normalcy or self destruction. I was always just toying around and never giving myself fully to my vices. The time for wandering has come to an end, and I am about to ride down the mountain into the promised land.

   Today at breakfast was a marked difference than any day before in recent history. I had to go out to breakfast at Ihop with the bf. Usually I would just eat a little of everything and then just move food around until everyone else is finished, Talking a lot slowed down my eating kept my mind off of wanting to eat more.

  This morning was different. Each forkful of food made my purse my lips in anxiety and disgust. I did not want any of this "food" entering my perfectly clean and empty body. I actually had to force myself to eat in order to avoid suspicion. Idk what changed, but it must be the luck of the Irish.

After my family dinner cheat day yesterday, I weighed in at 129.2 I feel like Sunday cheat days are going to become a thing of the past quite soon. Tiny thigh gap has emerged, but not enough to show a pic yet. I will post a full body pic at 128 flat ;)



  1. It's ok to give into our vices, just stay safe dear.

  2. i miss my thigh gap.... i wish i had one at 128... i dont e=get one till about 118. you must be tall.