Friday, June 21, 2013

So There's This Girl

She's on my gymnastics team and she's 13. We are so alike that it's crazy. I swear when talk to her, it's like I'm speaking with my self at that age. It's like a mirror to the past. I always wanted a little sister. She's outgoing, sweet, and a little nerdy. She always seems so happy... to everyone else. I recognize that forced smile. I know that dance around the questions. I know how to light a fire and leave everyone else to put it out while I run in the other direction. I knew she was hiding some pain, and I knew she needed someone to open up to. I want to be there for her like nobody ever was for me. We both never sleep. She cuts, I starve. We let everything out today. It's like we both hold each others deepest secrets. There's this deep bond between us now.If one of us goes down, we both go down. She told me she hasn't cut in about five months. I told her I only have problems with ana maybe once per month. 

I have a feeling that we're both lying.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I'm Baaaaack!

And better than ever! :) Israel is the most amazing place I've ever been. I'm going back in a few months, because I just can't stay away. I met a soldier there and he was so amazed by me.  He would grab my waist or put his hand around my wrist, and he would always say with a smile," You're so skinny, but it's good. I like it"  The whole time we were there, the group had to wake up at about 6:30 AM and then we would walk all day in the hot sun. We did so much hiking and swimming, it was crazy. All of the food was so light and healthy, and it was driving me crazy to not weigh myself, I could see that I'm shrinking, but I didn't know how much. I'm finally home, and I weighed myself this morning. 126.8, BMI 19.3 :D haha!! I'm so excited. I'm probably dehydrated, so it will go up a little, but this progress is great :) I'm so freaking excited right now that I could just flip. I have 2 wonderful pictures for you all too. Just some pics from a test shoot for a modeling company. I hope I can get signed soon, How has everyone been?? Any exciting update? Tell me what you think of the pictures <3 Sunshine