Tuesday, March 20, 2012


Okay, so I've been away for a little bit. Thank you for all the comments while I was away :) Oh, and thank you to all of my new followers. So, the moment you've all been waiting for, THE STORY! Soooo my boyfriend is such a sweet and caring guy, but he can be a bit absent minded and forgetful at times. He's more of a big picture guy. He doesn't really notice the small details. He has this friend who is over all the time and he stays the night a lot too. Well, I really love reading, and next to the side of the couch, I have a big stack of books. One of those books happens to be Wasted, by Marya Hornbacher. One day, a few months ago, my boyfriend and his friend were cleaning up the house. I guess his friend saw the book, and he asked my why I was reading it, I told him how I was just interested in the book. He didn't say anything else, and life went on as normal. A few nights ago, we were all hanging out, and he and my boyfriend were kinda drunk ( so was I  lol) and I'm not sure how we got onto the subject, but his friend was talking about a girl he was seeing and how she would just be so beautiful if she was healthier and worked out more. I agreed with him, and all the sudden he just turned and looked really mean, and he was like, " Honestly, I think you could stand to gain a little weight" My boyfriend looked really confused, and I said " I think my weight is fine" and my boyfriend said " What are you talking about, she looks great" The the friend was like, ''You know what? I'm calling you out. I think that you have eating problems." I responded with " What are you talking about? I eat all the time!" And my boyfriend said " Ya she eats constantly.'' The friend said " You just think about it way too much. I can tell. And you always looking at your stomach in the mirror. You might eat a lot sometimes, but when you don't, you under eat waaay too much." We argued some more about this and the he said " I think you have anorexic tendencies and binge eating tendencies as well" ( HOW the hell does he know that!?) I was just basically speechless, but thankfully my mouth took over on it's own and denied everything like a pro :) My boyfriend chimed in " She lives with me. There's no way she has an eating disorder, I see her eat all the time. Unless she has bullimia, but I would know because we only have one bathroom, and I would be able to tell." ( I love him) Anyways after talking him down, I figured it was over and that he would just be too drunk and not remember it in the morning. ( I was so scared because he was siting on the side of the couch by my stack of books, and I had a notebook sitting right on top of the stack that has all of my calories and weights and measurements and ED rants and thoughts. He was so close to having solid evidence! As soon as he left the room, I took my books and stashed them away) It turns out the next day, he brought it up again, I denied it to the fullest, and he said that he's been suspicious ever since he saw the book. ( Thank God he didn't find my note book, or Wintergirls, or Feeling for Bones) He also informed me that he would be " Watching me" I guess I need to be more careful. I had no idea that he could tell I'm not eating, because I always eat when I'm with friends and they're eating, because I don't want them to get suspicious. The only time I majorly all out restrict is when I'm on my own. I don't know what is going to come of this, but I stashed away all of my ED related stuff and cleared my history. Ugh I hope this all just blows over and we never bring it up again. That was a close one! How have you all been?


  1. I'm so sorry :( I know that guy was drunk but he had no right to say those things! At least your guy defended you ^_^ I am well, and am happy you're doing okay!
    All my support,
    <3 A Fragile Heart

  2. Oh my god, that's one of my worst nightmares! How scary. I wonder how that guy picked up on all that just from one book. Maybe he's known someone else in the past who displayed similar behavior?
    At least you have a good man to stand up for you!

  3. I would have had a total freak out if someone just called me out like that. The people who know don't often bring it up which is good. I just recently started following you, does your bf know about your eating disorder? If he does and he still stood up for you, that is awesome. I hope it all blows over for you hun.

  4. I am reading Wasted, by Marya Hornbacher right now too!!
    I also really enjoyed "Stick Figure" :)
    I'm glad you didnt get caught.. I did a few months ago... my BF found all of my notebooks, pictures, journals, they were all LOCKED in a box, hidden at the back of my closet... and he picked the lock. I was mortified. But it kiiinda blew-ish over... and in his eyes, I recovered.... welp so much for that!
    stay strong!

  5. Oh yikes! Almost getting caught is the scariest thing ever. I'm always afraid that my mom will have me admitted to an eating disorder mental hospital or something. When someone does notice me acting weird (my little brother) I always say I'm just looking into it because I'm trying to understand my ana friend better... It works, kinda.

  6. Urgh. How rude! I hate when people get alllll in your business. Completely unnecessary and rude. People! Anyway, I'm so grateful that you weren't caught! That would have been horrible :( Good luck dear!

  7. Oh, man... MEN!! Specially young men. All they saw was a book and to be honest women just read. At least most of them :)
    Getting caught is always scary, keep the cheer up!