Damn...

Semester started up again today. Looks like I'm taking sociology, world religions, psychology, English,  and a 6 hour studio art class. Not too bad of a schedule, but I had to get up at 7:45 today, and after a nice month long break waking up at 10:30 or later most days, 7:45 is the crack of dawn. Trust me. Not to mention that I stayed up until about 1:30, so I got a little over 6 hours of sleep. Yay me! Ok, pity party is officially over... Now! I have the most unique ( aka weirdest) group of class mates in my studio art class. I haven't seen any of their work, but they all seem pretty convinced that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. I just wish so many people weren't so damn pleased with themselves. ugh. It makes me sick. Any who, I was looking down at my phone texting when this girl walked into the class room with some super slim legs. They were amazing! I know this sounds creepy, but I'll definitely be watching her. So, I'm not sure if I explained this before, but keeping up with promises or goals is very difficult for me, especially when I think about how much easier and more enjoyable it is to just lounge about on the couch all day and watch netflix while cramming junk food in my face and staring at pictures of really thin girls on the internet wondering why the hell  my bones don't stick out that much. well, now that school has started back up, I have no excuses. I scheduled my classes rather early in the morning so that I have to get up and out of bed. Hopefully this also encourages me to go to bed a little earlier and not have late night junk food benders that leave me feeling like a damn overstuffed turkey. Ugh! The point of this whole little rant is that I didn't want to ruin my relaxing break by starting a bunch of stressful and challenging resolutions that I'm probably going to miserably fail at. Well since term started today, resolutions start today. Throw that damn negative attitude right out the door, Sunshine! You  are brilliant, and you can do this!  you will do this!!! I'm serious this time. I know I have a bit of a history of making brilliant plans , diving head in, and then crashing and burning spectacularly... and then making new plans and repeating the cycle. Well, I've figured out my problem. I give my self way too much leniency. I always make excuses in my head like, Oh well they offered me food I HAVE to eat it. Or If I don't eat, I won't have energy for gymnastics. Or people will notice that I'm not eating and ask awkward questions! Well I need to come up with a plan of action in case this happens again. ~Brainstorming~ The people who I most often have to eat around are my family on Sunday afternoons and then my Bf who I live with. I will eat with my family without acting weird, but I will try to only take small portions if possible and load up on the side salad or veggies or whatever is healthy. My dad is already a little suspicious I think, so I need to be very very careful. As far as the issue of my bf goes, he like to bring food home for me from his restaurant a lot. The easiest thing to say to him is that I just ate, or I'll say I'm saving it for later or something. I really hate to waste food when somebody else could be eating it, so I'll offer him some while he's watching TV, and he'll probably just gobble most of it up without thinking. As far as the issue of gymnastics goes, I'm just being a wimp. I'll always have water with me, and I'll pack a small healthy snack for those intense days where they give us a half way break. If people ask awkward questions about my weight my reasons will be 1) we are practicing a lot at gymnastics and I'm the same weight, just a lot more toned. or (2 I got new running shoes for Christmas ( which is true) and I've been going on lot's of runs because the weather has been pretty nice( which is also true) I don't think I should have too much of an issue from anyone besides my family, because nobody else really cares. I feel like I've rambled on much too long for just one post so I'm going to make a few more posts about the plan and diet and everything else that's going on <3 Stay strong.