Friday, January 25, 2013

A Drawn Line

 Let's see, we are at 20:46 with the fast. That's about 31% of the way through the first part of my 66 hour fast. If I do the extra 17 hours after Sunday dinner, I'm only 25% through. I have been going through some roughness through the New Year with late night binges. It's disgusting, but I won't let it happen again. It made me shoot up to 135 on the scale. I am ashamed of myself, but my new determination is born from my disgust. I will not stop fasting until I am below 130. I hate being in the 30s and once I get below and into the 20s again, I know I will be in a much better place. The hardest thing is going to be making it through this first night without giving into temptation. When I wake up in the morning, probably around 9 I will be 33 hours in and the pride of knowing that I'm half way there will fuel me through to Sunday evening. I was reading about fasting, and they said that the first two days, depending on different variables, the average person will lose 2 lbs per day for the first 2-3 days and then 1 lb per day after. I think I could easily lose 5 lbs in this fast, especially because I weighed myself this morning after another late night binge. I think after my fast I will just have pure fruit and water smoothies all week unless I have work training, bc then I'll be forced to eat regular food :( I don't want to gain weight back after my fast, so its going to be fasting until Sunday 6:00 PM , then resume the fast at 7:00 PM until noon on Monday. Noon is when I get out of my studio art class, but I can't bring a smoothie to school at 9AM and expect it to still be good 3 hours later. I will probably just bring a mixture of strawberries and a sliced banana for lunch and I'll have a proper smoothie when I get home around 3:30. I think I'll take in 500 or less Monday-Wednesday because I have practice, and then I'll fast Thursday (midnight Wednesday night)-Sunday at 6 again, but this time the fast will be for 90 hours I guess. I think that once I complete this, I will be prepared to stick with the more varied eating plan that I was on before. I can't wait to feel that dizzy fasting pure energy upon waking in the morning. Perhaps I'll sleep in late to make the fast go a little more easily... actually this fast should be about changing my ways, so I'm not taking the easy way out. I'll just entertain myself with writing, hot tea, and a good book. Probably gonna be Harry Potter for the 1000th time ;)  Also, I have a lot of studying to do for sociology and I want to make organizers for my top 2 dresser drawers. I am going to keep myself so busy with school work and cleaning so I have no time to even think about eating. Question: How do you all distract yourselves while fasting? <3  

1 comment:

  1. Ah, my darling, this is a wonderful post, filled with such incredible energy and determination...and you tell me you haven't found what to fight for?! I think I know the answer, baby... it's you, you fight for yourself, because in the end, you're the person who matters the most.

    And right here, right now, you might feel confused, lost, stuck, or in a hole, but it does get better... we've both been there before so we know how wonderful it feels once you succeed, once you can cross out those scary numbers on your sidebar marking your win and proving you're so much stronger than you thought! You'll be in the 20s sooner than you think, honey; just keep in mind how amazing it feels to see the numbers drop, decimal by decimal, pound by pound, and may that keep you motivated.

    I'll be thinking of you; you're amazing, girl.
    Much love!