Fasting tomorrow through Sunday. I am such a fucking fat ass slob. God! I wish I had some fucking control over my fucking eating. I hate my self so fucking much.l I just drank a bottle of champagne The whole fucking thing! My eating today consisted of an I hop pancake combo 1200 + pot roast (300) + a small potato (50) + nut mix (200) = 1750 not including the champagne. I want to leave America. That's 550 too much and it's all bullshit calories. I swear I need to be locked away in a fucking prison. I am so damn worthless. No more food for me. I don't deserve it. Starving until <128 lbs. I'm such a piece of shit. .I wish I was marooned on an island somewhere without any sort of foods. Just sunlight, surf and fresh water. Seriously, somebody come punch me in the fucking mouth so all my teeth get busted out and I can't eat anything. I just want to sleep until I'm thin. I hate this bullshit. Where is my thigh gap, hip bones and ribs?? Fuck you sunshine, you worthless piece of shit. You don't get food until you need it. You're too fat to eat for a few days. I hate me. I wish I could just cut all the fat off. I'm such a failure...
Thursday, February 21, 2013
I'm Livin' on Such Sweet Nothin'
Fasting tomorrow through Sunday. I am such a fucking fat ass slob. God! I wish I had some fucking control over my fucking eating. I hate my self so fucking much.l I just drank a bottle of champagne The whole fucking thing! My eating today consisted of an I hop pancake combo 1200 + pot roast (300) + a small potato (50) + nut mix (200) = 1750 not including the champagne. I want to leave America. That's 550 too much and it's all bullshit calories. I swear I need to be locked away in a fucking prison. I am so damn worthless. No more food for me. I don't deserve it. Starving until <128 lbs. I'm such a piece of shit. .I wish I was marooned on an island somewhere without any sort of foods. Just sunlight, surf and fresh water. Seriously, somebody come punch me in the fucking mouth so all my teeth get busted out and I can't eat anything. I just want to sleep until I'm thin. I hate this bullshit. Where is my thigh gap, hip bones and ribs?? Fuck you sunshine, you worthless piece of shit. You don't get food until you need it. You're too fat to eat for a few days. I hate me. I wish I could just cut all the fat off. I'm such a failure...
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oh dear. we all have these moments don't we? just hold on tight, and try and believe me when i say you are far from being a failure. i mean, you inspire me so much it's borderline scary. seriously. i wish i could be just like you. *creep over*
ReplyDeleteand haha, i've totally wanted to be locked away in prison! free housing, automatic food portion control, no school work, ample reading time. sounds pretty heavenly if you ask me ;]
I know just how you feel, I have binged right through last day and a half with the exception of time that I spent in bed tossing and turning from the food hangover and the time that I was at work, because there is no food available here.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing and I know that you will be right back on line soon enough.
Good luck!
i know how you feel... i am constantly telling myself i am fat and ugly, and it seems like the more weight i lose, the fatter i feel... i am not really sure how that works... but i feel just as fat now as i did when i weighed 30lbs more... btw absolutely love the thinspo pic.
ReplyDeletei am drawn to that picture isnt she like every girls perfection? her body is the whole reason we do this
ReplyDeletenot sure this is a good thing or bad??
xx
Don't be so hard on yourself sweetie, you have been doing so great. This is one little slip up and tomorrow is a new chance to do well and get where you want to be. Good luck <3
ReplyDeleteAlice xx
Sending you a hug x
ReplyDelete