I Wonder

  Yet another late night binge. Crackers, chicken, and summer rolls. Not the worst food I could have had, but still. Had 1 egg(100), american cheese (100) potatoes (200) and fried rice (250) = 650 + my binge. Idk how much I ate for real lol. And the irony is, I wake up lighter, again. 128.6. I can't help but wonder how much less I would have weighed without the binge. At least a pound, maybe 1.5 idk. Good news is, it's Friday, so I 'm fasting. I have work for 6 hours tonight, yay, but, lots of walking and lifting= lots of calories burned :) I'm down 4.4 lbs about 2kg. I have today, tomorrow, Sunday, Monday, and I guess I weigh in Tuesday morning. So far I've lost an average of .63lbs per day, which sucks big time. According to this calculation, my total weight loss will be 6.3lbs putting me at 126.7 :/ after Tuesday, I'm not going to weigh in so often I think. Just once a week.

How Did That Happen?

So, I told my boyfriend about all the things I was giving up for Lent, and he decided we needed to have one all out binge fest before Lent. Soooo he brought home chicken wings, 6 packages of Reeses cups, 2 bottles of wine, a 6 pack of Smirnoff ice, a 6 pack of Budlight Platinum, and a Redbull. He got home from rugby practice at about 10:16, so we only had one hour and 44min to consume as much as possible. I drank half a bottle of red wine, about 3/4 of a bottle of white, a Budlight Platnium, and a Smirnoff Ice. Also, I ate 10 Reeses cups and 5 chicken wings. I don't even want to think about the calories. :/ Good thing I got really sick and everything came back out. lol I weighed in this morning expecting some horrible number, and my weight was 129.4! That is kind of exciting. So I've lost 3.6lbs so far (1.6kg) in 4 days and i cheated twice. I think I can lose 3x that all together, so that's 10.8lbs (4.89kg) that would be super. I'm fasting today for Ash Wednesday and I'm too tired to eat anyways. I'm going to nap before gymnastics. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Go to This Page!!!

                                                                  I just found the best thing! It's this pinterest site that has a bunch of awesome thinspo-ish exercise and diet suff it is absolutely amazing!!!!!!! So inspiring and motivating. Come on girls, let's do this for real! http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1ONf1H/pinterest.com/xxscreamer009xx/get-in-shape/

Taco Bell?

 Ya you read right. I had taco bell last night. Ugh after all of my hard work, I caved in and ate it. Ugh. Why oh why does my boyfriend have to be so thoughtful and bring me food all the time? I didn't do too much damage though I guess. I weighed in at 131 this morning, so I'm still down two pounds. The good thing is Lent starts tomorrow, so I know tomorrow will be a fasting day. For Lent I am going to go to mass every morning. Also, I am giving up all junk food. no cake, cookies, fries, chips, sweets, soda, alcohol, fast food, pizza, ice cream, pie, brownies, or chocolate! All I will have is fresh fruits and veggies, lo fat dairy, whole grains, and lean proteins. No meat on Wednesdays and Fridays. I bet I am going to feel so healthy when this is all over :) Seriously, chips make up like half of the calories I consume. It's disgusting, I know, but starting tomorrow, that will not be a problem. For some reason, whenever I give something up for Lent, or I'm fasting for religious reasons, I do not cheat or binge. God gives me so much strength. I know I can do this!!!! Only 7 days left to fruit fast, and get all of this fat off of my body <3 I think it's funny because the final weigh in is on my bfs bday so it's like I'm losing weight for him. What is everybody else doing for Lent? (If you celebrate it)

Buongiorno!

 This summer, probably in late May/early June, I am going to visit my friend in Italy!!! I'm super excited, because I've never left the country before. I need to work really hard saving money so that I can go. The ticket could cost between $900-1500 depending on when I go. I also want to have about 1000 in my bank just in case for savings and spending. Soooo, I need to come up with about $2500 in 13 weeks. Lets see, my paychecks are going to give me about 600 lol Waitresses do not get paid well. Also, I'll make about 150 in tips per weekend so that's about 2000, but I have to buy groceries and gas and pay for gymnastics. Ugh Maybe I should go later in the summer lol I'll figure it out. My birthday is in April, so hopefully, I can just ask for money for the trip for my birthday. This is sooo exciting!!! First weigh in = 132.4 Down .6lbs I am very disappointed with myself to be quite honest. I think my period is making me retain water like crazy. My stomach looks so nasty and bloated. I can't wait until its over. Ugh only two more days hopefully. I think my weigh in tomorrow will be a lot better. If I only lose .6lbs per day, I'll still be down 6lbs, but it's not good enough. Being 127 is not good enough. I can't believe it's taking me so long to get down to my 3rd goal weight of 125. I really want that sport bra and those running shorts for my race on March 17. UGHHHHHHHH Get off of my body disgusting fat.

Long Lost Friend

  I missed this! Powering through a day on absolutely zero. I'm going to say I started at midnight because I'm not really sure when I stopped eating last night. It is almost 8PM now, so I'm at 20 hours, no food. Whoo Hoo! I went grocery shopping and picked up somethings for my fruit and veggies fast. This is going to be epic. I predict 8-12 lbs lost (3.6-5.4 kgs) So, after pigging out all last night and eating like 10 boneless hot wings, 3 mozarella sticks, nachos, onion rings, and redvelvet cake, I weighed 133lbs. (60.3) WTF!? I am disgusting. In ten days, I will weigh 124lbs (56.2)  at most. The most weight I ever lost in 10 days was 11lbs (4.99 kg) That was without trying too hard, messing up a lot, and eating mainly apples and yogurt and salads.  I wish I could repeat that amazing weight loss again. I would love to get down do 122lbs in ten days! That is the lowest "healthy weight" for my height. Why is this so exciting? Haha :) Is anybody else doing the fruit and veggies fast? Also, does anybody have yummy ways to use tofu? I've never tried it before lol. Stay strong lovlies <3 Sunshine

Oh no! I'm Not That Kind of Anorexic!

Well, it's official! I'm restarting this time with no excuses, no mess ups, no nothing to hold me back. If I slip up, I will IMMEDIATELY work out to burn off those extra calories. I will take my amazing vitamins and calcium supplements each day to stay strong and healthy. I will do my nails each week and deep condition my hair with essential oils to keep my hair long and shiny and strong. I will go outside all the time to stay tan and I will tan a little bit in the winter time to keep my healthy glow and get vitamin D. I will smile and work hard and not be sullen and reclusive. I will be strong and tiny like the gymnast ballerina that I am. I will moisterize my skin twice a day to keep it from getting all dry and nasty. I will work out every day to keep my lungs  and heart strong and healthy. I will have my thigh gap and six pack abs. I will not binge at night time. I will wake up hungry. I will make my dreams a reality. I will get to my goal weight and stay there forever. I will stick to the plan. I WILL DO THIS! I know I've posted this picture before, but this girl is my thinspo for now. She kinda looks like me, so at the end of this 10 day fruit fast i am going to do with (Size) Zero Intentions I will post a picture of myself in this pose, and you can tell me what you think! 10 day fruit fast, who wants some? :) <3 Sunshine

Epic Fail

You can always tell when I'm not doing well with my plans because then i go MIA for long periods of time. I'm starting up again tomorrow. My problem is late night binges and mother fucking processed foods and carbs. Ugh. Because I can not control myself, I will cut it all out. From now on only non packages foods. This means fruits and veggies. the only packaged food I can have is yogurt. I am ashamed of myself, but the weight has not gone up too much. I am not going to weigh myself until a week from tomorrow. I have to be at 127 or I will fast until I am. I blame period bloat for part of this, but in the end I just need to be stricter with myself.  On a different note, my mom hasn't talked to me in like 6 months and now all of the sudden she wants to meet up so we can talk and she can give me Christmas presents, valentines day gifts, money and my graduation present. Ummm I graduated from high school almost 2 years ago and I still lived with my parents then. WTF She's a crazy lady, but I'm not going to turn down money. I know that sounds horrible, but she's a surgeon, so she can afford to share the wealth. the only catch is we have to go out to dinner... ugh that means eat fatty food and I can't yell at her. Well that's not very fun now is it? That's why I'm starting my cleanse tomorrow. I'll probably honey water fast tomorrow to clean myself out a bit. On a happy note, I ran a 5k this weekend and got second place for my age group. because it was a race for Mardi Gras I got beads, a big shiny medal, a t-shirt, a prize pack from supplement super store, and a book of food vouchers for the food festival. The prize pack is supposed to be stuffed full of a bunch of nutrition goodies. I just have to go pick it up tomorrow to see what I got. For now, I'm done ranting. I have a new goal for myself though. Thigh gap by March 17th. That's St.Patrick's day, and with any luck (haha) I'll see results. I'm going to take thigh picks each week so I can see my progress. How has everybody been? Any exciting updates? <3 sunshinechild

Now That's Motivation!

    I really did not want to run today at all. It was soooo cold and I didn'tt have a lot of time so I told the bf that I didn't want to go. He was like, no you have to go! I was already dressed and ready to go, so he pushed me out of the door so I would go lol. I started snowing while I was out, so it was freezing, but still, a good run. A lot of people have responded to the idea of snail mail ana budies I want anybody that is interested to email me and send me their address. 's ok lol I'll start the correspondence if that's ok. Then, with your permission, I'll make a page of people interested in having a snail mail buddy, and I'll list your email addresses :) Also, I would love to have snail mail buddies in the uk and other parts of Europe, and all over the world :)  I'm really excited, and can't wait to get the ana mail up and going. Please email me Sunshinechild69@aol.com I really want mail buddies lol

Business as Usual

  I got a new job and I'm making so many tips, it's amazing. Anybody interested in the snail mail idea can email me sunshinechild69@aol.com. I'm so sleepy lately and I can't figure out why. Probably lack of calories lol I wish. I'm going to go to sleep early tonight. Stay skinny <3 sunshine

Pen pals?

 I've posted about this before, and some people seemed interested, but nothing ever really happened with it. Who wants to do a pro ana pen pal thing? By this I mean really writing letters and sending them by mail. I think this would be a lot of fun! :) I love writing letters the old fashioned way. Anybody interested in something like this?