Time to Start This Again

 Each day of the week will have a theme:

Meager Meatless Mondays=

 No meat, no dairy and no bread today. Try to fill up on around 1000 calories of pure, unrefined fruit and vegetables. I know, its a lot of calories, and a lot of food, but it will do wonders for your body. Try to incorporate an ab workout today. I'll post my personal workout on this day :)

Tiny Tummy Tuesday=

Today is all about debloating the tummy. Aim for 8 glasses of lemon water to flush out toxins and get rid of excess water. Try to make today as low as possible on carbs. 800 cal or less of pure protein; eggs, meat, fish, nuts, legumes, soy. Whatever  floats your boat :) I'll post an exercise challenge each Tuesday.

No Worries Wednesday=

Today is kind of a free day. Eat whatever clean foods you want, but stay under 1200!Absolutely no junk food, candy, cakes, chips, etc. Another abs workout day!

Thinking Thin Thursday=

Cut carbs and calories today. The maximum is 500 calories. Try to limit the carbs to those found in whole fruits and veg. Make sure to get some nice protein as well. Today is a last chance to cut out weight before the weigh in tomorrow morning! Also, cutting way back will help with fasting tomorrow. 

Fasting Friday=

It's weigh day!!! Get your skinny ass up on the scale and report your wonderful loss on my weigh in post. Only water/tea/coffee today. No sweeteners. Trust me on this one. Just take a day each week to let your boy heal and detox. Evaluate your loss this week. No hard exercise today. 

Soup and Smoothie Saturday=

If you made it through the fast, you haven't had real food since Wednesday. You don't want to shock your system too badly with a sudden belly full of food. Let's have around 900 cal of healthy soup and smoothies. Be gentle on your body. Work those abs out today!!

Funday Sunday!=

This is family dinner day for me, so I can't be too restrictive. Today is a free day, so eat what you wish. Try to listen to your body and only eat if you are hungry. Allow your self one treat, but keep it in moderation. No other junk foods or bad foods allowed except your treat. Try to keep the treat or dessert under 350

I'm so Melodramatic

Step right up!

Binge and Purge, Starve and carve.

Walk away slowly, 

only to come running back.

Clinging to the bars.

Standing at the gates of this demented carnival,

The freak show 

Life.

Sucked in by the merry go round of thoughts,

whirling,

spinning out of

control.

The games are crooked.

The fun house mirrors lie.

Silly girl,

You know the real magic lies 

behind the curtain

Beckoning forward with grin and bending finger

But wait! 

There's a price if you'd like to see inside. 

It must be written in the flesh.

 I pay with my soul.

The temptation irresistible.

I want to levitate. 

Please,

saw me in half.

Make me disappear before their eyes. 

You'll have me swallowing swords and spitting fire.

Come one come all!

See the amazing shrinking girl!

The bearded lady's got nothing on me.

The Lighter Side

Yesterday, me and the BF were in bed, him on top, and all of the sudden he stops and goes ,Ah!, like he's in pain. 

I asked what was wrong, and he got this big smile and said, you're so skinny, your hipbone stabbed me!

I responded with an apology, huge smile on my face. 

Don't be, he said with a wink, still smiling hard.

I Love Him

Skip Dinner, Wake up Thinner

Isn't it crazy how easy it is to skip breakfast and lunch, but then dinner and beyond is torture? I'm making myself a little thinspo post to keep my mind on the right track so I wake up empty. I need to start posting my intake again. That way I can be shamed away from eating.

Breakfast: Weight control oatmeal (160)

                Coffee/cream(50)

Snack: Baguette (150)

Lunch: Banana chips/dehydrated strawberry mix (200)

           Probiotic trail mix (150)

           Cottage cheese w/ berries (130)

Dinner: Water (0)

Total: 840 :( Better than 900, right?

Whisper, Whisper

There's a boy at work, a few years younger than me, that has the hots for me. He's cute and all, but very obnoxious and immature at times. I'm not interested.  He certainly is, and he wants to know all about me, asking things like, " Are you ok? Did you eat today? What did you eat? Does that mean you really didn't eat?" He knows nothing about my ED stuff, and he's already suspicious. Probably from the time he stole my phone at work to look at my pics and saw all the thigh gap/ rib shot pics I take in the mirror. 

The girls at work don't ask me, but rather ask each other about me, and wonder if they should believe their eyes. "Is she losing weight? Does she look thinner to you?" Good thing our work uniforms are pretty concealing. They've got no proof :)

In honor of the 4th of July and our independence , I am freeing myself from the scales and from calories for a week. I will be allowed family dinner on Sunday evening and a small, under 300 cal something before Gymnastics practice so I have energy not to faint. I want someone to outright ask me if I've lost weight. On July 11, a very special day :), I will be at 123. 

We can achieve amazing things with a sheer will to resist, stars in our eyes, and an empty tummy at bed time.

Question: What is the most magical thing about summer to you?

For me, it's being part of "The Wave" at a baseball game. Idk why but seeing it come together successfully gives me such a good feeling, and brings a sparkle to my eye lol