Disconnect

I watch House, and I worry about dying like those people,

Organs pulsing,

Blood gushing out.

I really don't want to end up like them.

That's the thing though. 

Right when I think I think of being like them, I am comforted.

I'm not like them, so I can't end up like them.

I really don't think I'm like anyone.

I feel like if they cut me open.they'd be in for a surprise.

Like i'd be arranged differently, missing something, or maybe having something extra...

Maybe there's nothing in there and it's all just an illusion.

I find myself detaching from the situation a lot lately, and this isn't like me.

Usually, I'm a little too excitable and emotional about things.

Lately though, it's like an out of body experience.

I get stressed out, so i step out of myself and just stare in pity at her.

The moment I feel pain, I just remove myself from it, and don't allow myself to feel it.

It really is a perplexing situation.

Maybe it's from the restricting...

Anyone else ever feel this way?