Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Self Portrait

Age: 18
Height: 5’8”.
Weight: 138?.
Dress Size: 6? I'm not sure
Highest Weight: 144
Lowest Weight: 127
Goal Weight: 111
Favorite Diet Food: celery and flavored water
Favorite Binge Food: lasagna and mashed potatoes
Favorite Exercise:gymnastics and soccer
Favorite Thinspo: other gymnasts
Where Do You Slip Up? eating with family
Does Anyone Know? no
How Many Calories Do You Consume A Day? I try to stay under 900
What Do You Think When You Look In The Mirror? Lazy procrastinator
Are You In A Relationship? yes
Are You Depressed?  no.
Ever Tried To Commit Suicide? no.
Ever Been To A Psychologist? no
I AM: 
[ ] anorexic
[ x] ednos 
[ ] bulimic 
[ ] living off diet pills 
[ x] hungry 
[ ] thirsty 
[ x] drinking something 
[ ] Under 100lbs 
[x ] fasting/starving myself

PEOPLE: 
[ ] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic 
[x] have called me fat
[x] have said I’m skinny
[x] have said I’m ugly 
[x] have said I’m pretty
[x] spread rumors about me 
[ ] force me to eat 
[x] say I eat too much
[ ] wish I’d eat more 
[x] don’t know I’m anorexic/bulimic/ednos
I WISH: 
[x] I was THIN 
[x] I had a better body 
[ ] I didn’t have to eat 
[x] I could control myself 
[ ] I was under 110lbs 
[x] I could avoid food 
[ ] I could hide what I am 
[x] I wasn’t fat 
[ ] I was pretty 
[ ] I could stop being anorexic/bulimic/ednos

I LOVE:
[x] feeling hungry 
[x] seeing a difference when fasting 
[x ] shaking 
[x] feeling airy 
[x] losing weight 
[x] being anorexic/bulimic 
[x] green tea 
[ ] diet pills 
[x] being able to turn down food 
[x] feeling good about myself 

APPEARANCE: 
[ ]I am shorter than 5’4
[x] I think I’m ugly sometimes
[x] I have many scars 
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
[ ] I have a tattoo
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance
[ ] I have/had braces 
[ ] I wear glasses 
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free 
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger 
[ ]  I have more than 2 piercings
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears 
[ ] I have freckles 
FAMILY:
[x] I’ve sworn at my parents
[x] I’ve run away from home 
[x] I’ve been kicked out of the house 
[x] My biological parents are together 
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old 
[x] I want to have kids someday
[ ] I’ve had children 
[ ] I’ve lost a child  
[ ] I can’t have children
RELATIONSHIPS: 
[ ] I’m single 
[ x] I’m in a relationship
[ ] I’m engaged 
[ ] I’m married
[ ] I’ve gone on a blind date 
[x] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper
[ x] I miss someone right now 
[x] I have a fear of abandonment 
[ x] I’ve cheated in a relationship 
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced 
[x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
[x] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t
[ ] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did 
[x] I’ve kept something from a past relationship
[x] I’ve been ‘the other woman’
SEXUALITY: 
[ ] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x ] I’ve had a crush on a teacher 
[x] I am a cuddler
[x] I’ve kissed in the rain
[ ] I’ve hugged a stranger 
[ ] I have kissed a stranger

BAD TIMES: 
[x] I’ve consumed alcohol
[ x] I regularly drink
[ ] I can’t swallow pills
[x] I can swallow numerous pills at a time without water
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression
[ ] I shut others out when I’m upset
[ ] I take anti-depressants
[x] I’m anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS
[x] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it 
[x] I’ve hurt myself on purpose
[ ] I’m addicted to self harm
[ ] I’ve woken up crying 
[x] I’ve lost weight 
[x] I’ve gained weight 
[x] My weight holds me back 
[x] Weight consumes me 
[ ] I’m at my thinnest 
[ ] I’m at my biggest 
[ ] I’ve lost weight and kept it off 
[x] I’ve lost weight but gained it back 
[ ] My weight affects my mood 
[ ] I weigh myself daily 
[ ] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me 
[ ] I thrive on compliments 
[x] I feel bigger than people who are my size 
[x] I feel happy when I’m hungry 
[ ] I get depressed after I eat 
[x] I’ve skipped a meal 
[x] I’ve thrown food away 
[x] I’ve spit food out 
[x] I’ve fasted 
[x] I’ve taken diet pills 
[ ] I’ve used laxatives 
[x] I’ve purged 
[ x] I exercise 
[x] I exercise so I can eat 
[ x] I work out secretly 
[ x] I work out daily  
[ ] I’ve fainted from exhaustion 

I’ve done: 
[x] Weed 
[x] Cigarettes 
[x] Alcohol 
[x] Diet pills 
[x] Pain killers 
[ ] Sleeping pills
[ ] Anti-depressants 
[ ] Ecstasy 
[ ] LSD 
[ ] Mushrooms 
[ ] Speed 
[ ] Cocaine 
[ ] Other
 
HABITS:
[ x] I keep my eating habits a secret 
[x] I look at thinspo 
[x] I collect thinspo 
[x] I count calories 
[x] I’ve had negative intake days 
[ x] I avoid food 
[ ] I hate food 
[x] I love food  
[ ] I don’t want to be like this 
[x] I wish I could have more control 
[ ] Being thin is my top priority 
[ ] I am in treatment 
[x] I’m doing this for me 
[ x] I’m doing this for someone 
[x] I’m doing this to prove myself

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